This is a great site for this topic.
It actually has some very good gun buying tips for anyone, male or female.
Cornered Cat
I particularly like this passage, from her (tongue-in-cheek) essay "What's the best gun for a man?"
Quote:
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Because men are generally less precise and less patient than women are, it is best to avoid guns which require them to carefully align the sights and gently squeeze the trigger without disturbing the sight picture. Therefore, a shotgun, perhaps a 12-gauge, is probably the best gun for a man. It is big and powerful, thus avoiding the social scorn caused by using a smaller gun. Because the shot can be expected to spread somewhat, an impatient or imprecise man will not have to carefully align the sights. Many shotguns don't even have sights. Better still, a 12-gauge pump-action shotgun sounds masculine in every way. The very name is masculine, and the gun itself sounds intimidating and powerful both in preparing to shoot and in actually firing. Working a pump action also allows the man to flex his biceps and use his usually well-developed gross motor skills so that he does not become frustrated or bogged down in unaccustomed detail work.
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Regarding your points, Pami:
1) It's not just women who care about the appearance of their guns. Read the posts here: this is a major issue for guys, too.
2) The advice to buy a small lightweight revolver for a woman, because it's simple and you know she isn't going to practice much, is somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy. My wife has a J-frame, and I can't think of a better gun for
discouraging practice. It has a short sight radius and gutter sights, so it's not particularly easy to shoot a lot of X's. It also has a harsh, unpleasant recoil feel. This is exactly the opposite of what you want in a range gun, especially for a beginner, which is a) easy to shoot well, so as to help build confidence and b) mild recoil, pleasant to shoot.