Should I be mad or am I over reacting?

[gungirl65]

A couple Sundays ago I was staying with a friend and woke up to this.

I had 3 tires with stabbed sidewalls and unknown damage to a 4[SUP]th[/SUP]. My van was covered in spray paint. I had to have my van towed to Tires Plus to have all new tires installed just so I could get to work the next morning.


We know who did it, the police know who did it but there are no witnesses, so no charges will be filed. Let me state that I had no prior issue with the POS that did this. Although I open carry, he would often make obscene gestures at me or mouth obscenities to me but for the most part I ignored him. His issue was with my friend, not me. I was attacked to get at my friend.


The kicker is the POS lives downstairs from my friend. He’s a heroin addict and my friend has made his disproval of his lifestyle known. I had done nothing to deserve this crap.


I have full coverage insurance so my out of pocket costs have been minimal. My tires were a little over a year old so the insurance company repaid me $20 less than what I paid for replacement tires. I bought a locking gas cap for $17 to prevent tampering so that wasn’t covered either. I’ve spent a couple hours cleaning paint off the van to keep costs down. My choice not my insurance company’s.


I’m p*ssed at the POS that vandalized my van but I am also p*ssed at my friend. I feel my friend is partly to blame for not ignoring the POS to begin with. Their dislike had been escalating; I should have never got sucked into their feud. I’m p*ssed I have been attacked and I am the only one who has been inconvenienced. I am p*ssed my friend failed to protect me.


My friend watches my beagle for me a couple times a week (long story, my beagle is caught in the middle of a nasty divorce). My beagle & my friend love each other and look forward to seeing each other. My beagle likes my friend more than I do. I am still letting my friend watch my beagle but I am not staying there for any amount of time anymore. My friend is mad that I won’t spend much time at the apartment anymore. Would you? Am I being harsh?


This whole ordeal will probably end our friendship. My friend doesn’t think I have any reason to be mad. My friend chose to argue with me right after this happened about what my insurance coverage was and what the best tires are. WTF…….. When I try to vent or just throw out scenarios that would make me happy I get lectures & BS from my friend.


So INGO above is the condensed version of my clash with PWT. Am I justified in being angry or am I just being a crybaby?

 

[armedindy]

banksy's in the u.s.?

 

[MCgrease08]

Heck yes you should be angry. Get your dog back and remove yourself from the situation. You can always repair your friendship down the road, but not before this third party and vandal is out of the picture.

 

[chezuki]

It's ****ty that some ass-hat did that to your property, and you have every right to be pissed at said ass-hat. As far as angry with your friend and ending the friendship, that is petty and silly. Sounds like you're projecting the blame to someone else since the guilty party isn't being punished.

 

[chezuki]

banksy's in the u.s.?

C'mon, Banksy was in NYC for the whole month of October!

 

[gungirl65]

It's ****ty that some ass-hat did that to your property, and you have every right to be pissed at said ass-hat. As far as angry with your friend and ending the friendship, that is petty and silly. Sounds like you're projecting the blame to someone else since the guilty party cannot be punished.

Yes and no. I am angry no one is being punished and I am angry at my friend for dismissing my right to be angry. I have been wronged. I deserve to be able to vent. I just need to get it out of my system and I will be fine. My friend won't let me vent. I get this cherry merry muffin BS that Karma will take care of it for me.

Not being allowed to be upset, upsets me.

 

[Hammer]

You need better friends/dog sitter.

 

[9mmfan]

Heck yes you should be angry. Get your dog back and remove yourself from the situation. You can always repair your friendship down the road, but not before this third party and vandal is out of the picture.

^^^^^^^This^^^^^^^^^

 

[gunman41mag]

Why does that guy hate you so much to do that to your mini-van ??? As for your friend, your friend should stand up for you & understand that you were victimized by that addict

 

[No2rdame]

I wouldn't pin the blame on my friend for this, he had no control over the loser who did it. Yes, he may have provoked the guy but at the same time consider he has to live near this person. If I had a neighbor like that I'd let them know what I think of them, too. As far as the vandalism I'd definitely be PO'd about that beyond belief.

I have to admit that karma wouldn't take care of the heroin addict if that were my van. A Louisville slugger to his kneecaps would, however, and he wouldn't know it was me. If you can't catch him, surely he has a car he'd hate to see vandalized. As far as your friend goes, he should let you vent although keep in mind it's not him you should be angry with. And as far as the dog, it's a beagle. Rekindle the bond with that dog!

 

[Birds Away]

If your friend doesn't have your back then he isn't really your friend. A friendship like any other relationship requires both giving and receiving. If he doesn't give you any emotional support when you need it then what kind of friend is that?

 

[sepe]

I don't know if I'd be mad at the friend over this but I'd definitely be ending the relationship. I'm not a fan of people that attract drama/crazy into their lives, especially when it ends up finding it's way into my life.

banksy's in the u.s.?

Banksy would have done quality work.

 

[churchmouse]

If the nieghbor sucks.....move. If before you move the neighbor escalates the amount of suck in your life , deal with it as you see fit.

He will not come right at you as he is a POS. They are back bitters and low life wastes of skin.

We have ways of dealing with these A$$ hats in my area. Not saying you should get involved in something illegal just saying.

Yes, be mad. Let the friend know you are mad. Let the POS know you are mad. Do not leave your van where he can get at it un-less you are watching....get it.....

Edit...I went back to OP to read your sig line per GFGT advice and I agree to an extent.
Then I see you are in the Valley. I do not have to suggest any of our ways, you already know......

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

Gungirl, look at your own sig line.

You may be too angry right now to employ any one of those three tools. Maybe a cooling off period is in order to determine how you really want this to evolve...before you do/say something to this friend you'll come to regret.

 

[hornadylnl]

Does this consume your entire conversations with the friend?

There's only so long I can tolerate listening to someone's problems if there's nothing I can do to fix it.

 

[Jarhead77]

... your friend must have to be where he is and needs to keep himself safe until he can get to a safer place or the addict removed. Give him some grace on this and a safe place to let him deal with his living situation before you call it quits.

 

[rgrimm01]

I am not a big fan of trashing other people's stuff and I do not appreciate other people trashing my stuff. I would think it quite natural to be upset and thoroughly frustrated (angry). Unfortunately, the ones that usually catch all the grief are not the ones responsible, but accessable.

If a visit to the friend includes the possibility of high school baffoonery, I would think about meeting my friend somewhere else or not at all until this dynamic changes.

 

[Brandon]

I don't see how you can be mad at your friend. That's like you having words with your neighbor 5 years before you met your friend, your friend then coming over and your neighbors doing this...

 

[HeadlessRoland]

Yes and no. I am angry no one is being punished and I am angry at my friend for dismissing my right to be angry. I have been wronged. I deserve to be able to vent. I just need to get it out of my system and I will be fine. My friend won't let me vent. I get this cherry merry muffin BS that Karma will take care of it for me.

Not being allowed to be upset, upsets me.

Forget 'karma' unless it's instant karma. Don't get mad - get revenge. If only so said scumbag knows in future that you are someone with whom not to be messed. Letting this slide without reprisal will invite further retaliation, because hey, nothing happened the first time, so they'll try to see what they can get away with next time. Walk within the law insofar that the law walks with you.

 

[Bunnykid68]

I understand what she is saying. She needs to vent about it and be allowed to vent about it unhindered and it sounds like her friend never gave her that chance. Sometimes a friend just shuts their mouth and lets their friend ramble on for a bit.