Explain to me how this became the standard protocol of tipping

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  • mastery

    Marksman
    Rating - 100%
    18   0   0
    Jun 2, 2008
    194
    18
    Here
    Buddy of mine brought up an interesting topic of conversation after we both finished a meal at a local restaurant. We both typically tip 20% of a bill, both willing to go higher for great service, or lower for bad service (we don’t ding the waitress for problems outside their control…but if I see she/he just BSing and clowning around with her workmates and not refilling a soda after it’s empty for over ten minutes, the tip gets lowered).

    So, let’s analyze the issue before I ask a question…

    My meal: Burger, fries, soda. Total bill for me: $11.75

    His meal: Ribeye steak with couple of sides, a beer and a soda (drinks ordered together, delivered together). His total bill: $36.40

    Waitress came to our table six times (menus already on table): Take our drink order, bring our drinks (I noticed all of our drinks came from the same area) and take our food order, bring our food, take our plates and leave checks, take checks, bring back change/receipts. Neither of us received a drink refill...and our water was never refilled even though mine was almost gone at the end of the meal. Most of these waitress visits were less than 10 seconds each to our table.

    We each paid a 20% tip for our meal/drink(s)…service was standard, nothing special, waitress wasn’t interested in chatting and moved on each time. Food was good, no issues. So, my total with tip was $14.10. His total was $46.68.

    My question: At what point did the “standard” tipping of a waitress (or waiter) come from what WE eat/drink, and not the service?

    Had we sat visited solo on our own, it would have been the same # of trips to our respective tables…yet due to the “standard” tipping protocol, she earned $10.22 from my buddy’s table, and from me, $2.35. The only difference is what we ate…the service and number of trips to our tables would have been the same. So, due to the normal 20% tip, she made $7.87 more because my buddy wanted to eat steak instead of hamburger.

    Just thought this was interesting once we started discussing and analyzing it. I told my buddy he gets to pay more for his steak to make up for all the morons that don’t tip. He responded he pays more because we’re all sheep and follow the protocols that others have established for us all to live by.
     

    SSGSAD

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    14   0   0
    Dec 22, 2009
    12,404
    48
    Town of 900 miles
    For ME, it is the service .....

    Pretty waitress, MAY get a better tip .....

    Good service, gets "standard" tip .....

    Excellent service, gets excellent tip .....

    Just me, YMMV .....
     

    KMaC

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    7   0   0
    Feb 4, 2016
    1,535
    83
    Indianapolis
    I've wondered the same. Waitresses at modest restaurants work just as hard as waitresses/waiters at the fancy places but they make a wole lot less because of what the meals cost. Even bad service at a fancy place probably earns a better tip than good service at a modest place just because the bill is much higher.
     

    eldirector

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    10   0   0
    Apr 29, 2009
    14,677
    113
    Brownsburg, IN
    20%? You are generous.

    I typically go 15%, unless I am a regular, and/or the service was better than usual.

    I'm sure we do it on percentage of the bill, as that is the easiest benchmark.
     

    mastery

    Marksman
    Rating - 100%
    18   0   0
    Jun 2, 2008
    194
    18
    Here
    20%? You are generous.

    Guess I am. I've been a waiter and know what it's like to work your butt off while in college on your only off day working a 10-12 hour shift to cover two people that called in "sick" only to take home diddly in tips because 50% of the people don't tip or they think a buck is appropriate.

    Back in my service days (couple of decades ago), 4 fellow squids and I went to Vegas for the weekend. By luck, we all cleaned house and went to an all night diner waiting for our early Monday AM flight back to San Diego. Met a waitress there that gave us the best service ever during the 90 minutes we lounged, drank coffee, and took turns munching on traditional fare; and she answered all the questions we had about her kids and the four jobs she was working to keep them fed. Watched the drunks, druggies, and jerks treat her like ****. And the entire time were there, she kept a smile on her face and made us strangers feel like family. As we left, each of us threw 200-300 into a napkin, handed it to her, and walked out. She came running after us and gave us each one of the best hugs I ever received.

    Yeah, I got a soft soft. And I still eat hamburger while those around me eat steak.

    So yeah, I have a soft spot.
     

    TB1999

    Master
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    6   0   0
    Jun 22, 2010
    2,965
    48
    As someone who waited on lots of tables, I would prefer a higher hourly rate and no tipping. Fine dining could pay more as there are more skills required to do the job.
     

    Hkindiana

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    8   0   0
    Sep 19, 2010
    3,175
    149
    Southern Hills
    I had to quit going to restaurants with a country farmer friend of mine. He would tip female waitresses $1.00 no matter what the bill was, and $0 to male waiters (since they didn't have a real job and should work with their hands). No matter how much I tried to explain tipping to him, he didn't want to hear it and liked his "system". I got so embarrassed that I now refuse to meet him at a sit down restaurant for a meal.
     

    gregkl

    Outlier
    Site Supporter
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    33   0   0
    Apr 8, 2012
    11,868
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    Bloomington
    I usually only give a 20% tip though it is not always based on the bill. If the restaurant is having a special discount, that is out of control of the server. I base my tip on what the usual price is.

    Some changes over the years:
    1. 20% is now the normal starting point
    2. We used to not tip on the alcohol portion of the bill, now it is etiquette to do so.

    If service is poor, I will still tip but at a lower percentage. I give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they are having a bad day. If service is exceptional, I'll give more.

    However, at some point I deviate from the percentages. If I am eating at a really high end, expensive restaurant where it cost me and one other $250 for my meal and they made the usual and customary trips to my table, I don't feel obligated to give them a $50 tip.
     

    Hkindiana

    Master
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    8   0   0
    Sep 19, 2010
    3,175
    149
    Southern Hills
    As someone who waited on lots of tables, I would prefer a higher hourly rate and no tipping. Fine dining could pay more as there are more skills required to do the job.

    The problem with that is that wait staff would be they they are in England and Europe where the tip is automatically added to your bill. You ONLY see the waiter/wairess when they take your order and deliver your food. Also, there is NO INCENTIVE for them to be personable or friendly. To top it off, many of these same wasit staff exoect Americans to leave an ADDITIONAL tip at the end of the meal. My sister just went on a Carnival cruise and a tip was AUTOMATICALLY ADDED to everyones bill at the end of the trip. If it is ADDED to your bill without your OK, then it is NOT a TIP.
     

    awames76

    Sharpshooter
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Feb 24, 2016
    381
    28
    kendallville
    i left a $. 25 tip once, wife wanted to leave 0. left $.25 so she know we did not forget a tip. we ate at applebees, there was maybe 3 or 4 other couples there , not busy at all. me wife and 2 yr old. well we ordered food. other couple came in and set couple tables away. we got drinks, the other couple got food and ate then left, we still have no food or refills. the waitress was walking around sweeping floor and stuff like that. she never came over, i did not call her out but i did say in a loud voice something about more drink before we got the food. she was less than 20 feet away. i should have said something to a manager but did not. if it was a problem in the kitchen then she should have said something to us and would have left a tip but her service was lacking. she did not come to table till food came out. we were there over an hour. we went back several times after that and never seen her again.
     

    eldirector

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    10   0   0
    Apr 29, 2009
    14,677
    113
    Brownsburg, IN
    So, question. Do you guys tip on the pretax bill or after tax bill?
    .
    Pre-tax, and pre-discounts. Food and drinks.

    I've also left no, or very small tips for poor service. I certainly do not feel obligated to tip for bad service. On the flip side, I've dropped some pretty large tips for simply outstanding service, and routinely tip well when visiting some of our regular hang-outs. Helps ensure great service every time. They tend to remember the good tippers!
     

    Heavy

    Marksman
    Rating - 100%
    2   0   0
    May 4, 2016
    293
    18
    Tippecanoe County
    I had to quit going to restaurants with a country farmer friend of mine. He would tip female waitresses $1.00 no matter what the bill was, and $0 to male waiters (since they didn't have a real job and should work with their hands). No matter how much I tried to explain tipping to him, he didn't want to hear it and liked his "system". I got so embarrassed that I now refuse to meet him at a sit down restaurant for a meal.

    Lmao! I know a few old timers like that. It's always a laugh a minute around them fellas!
     

    GLOCKMAN23C

    Resident Dumbass II
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    22   0   0
    Feb 8, 2009
    38,118
    83
    S.E. Indy
    I usually do 20% +/- the service.

    Personality will also +/- the tip. A smile goes a long way.
    Professionalism always +/- the tip. Order is taken promptly and food is brought to the correct person is a good start.
    I have left 100+% tips, if the server earned it, or someone in my party was a complete asshat.
     
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