Some political jokes

[mikea46996]

Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.
“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know ****?”

[right winger]

[Bigum1969]

LOL!!!!

I've got to share that one!

[Field King]

George Bush, Barak Hussien Obama and Al Gore are walking around the White House lawn for a breifing, Barak looks down and see's a Genie bottle and picks it up. out pops a Genie! The genie says "I will grant u each one wish" Al Gore says " I wish for all man caused carbon emissions to cease and global warming to end" POOF it was granted! Barak Hussien Obama says " I wish to build a protective wall around all of Palestine, Iraq, Afgahnistan, Libya, Pakistan and all the Muslim people" Poof it was granted! George Bush says " Genie tell me about this wall? The Genie reply's " it is 10' thick, solid concrete, 50' tall, nothing can penetrate it's super strong shell " George Bush says " I wish to fill it with water"

[semperfi211]

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One
is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota
contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some
figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900:
$400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I
can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100
profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White
House official and whispers, “$2,700.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other
guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we
hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

[JByer323]

Originally Posted by semperfi211

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One
is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota
contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some
figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900:
$400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I
can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100
profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White
House official and whispers, “$2,700.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other
guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we
hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.