INGO: Joke of the day page

[shawkpilot]

A man walks into a bar with an alligator. The bartender says "Hey get that thing out of here". The man replies, "No it's cool, he's a trained alligator, watch this." He takes a beer bottle and smashes the gator in the head. The alligator opens his mouth really wide. Everyone is in amazement.

The man then unzips his pants, and sticks his manstick in the gators mouth. He then smashes the gator in the head again with the bottle. The gator snaps his mouth closed, touching the skin, but not breaking it on the mans member. The crowd is speechless.

As the man stands there proud of his trick, he smashes the gator in the head one last time. The gator opens his mouth wide again. The man pulls his member out of the gators mouth and re-zips his pants. The crowd is stunned.

Then the man asks if there is anyone else in the room that wants to try it.





One woman in the back yells "I'll do it, if you promise not to hit me in the head."

[rich8483]

you guys have to watch this video. to me its a good joke

YouTube - Activist Fail

[renegade]

Nancy Pelosi was touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car.

Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on, and the car comes to a stop. Nancy , in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.'

The chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old.

'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Nancy .

Two hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.

'My God, what happened to you?' asks Nancy .

The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a great home cooked meal and the daughter made love to me.'

'What on earth did you say?' asks Nancy . 'I just knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them: 'I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow.

[Maverick]

My uncle said he finally quit ****ing pigs, When I asked why, he said , "one of 'em squealed on me!'

[Turn Key]

Some good friends were in Pigeon Forge over the week end. They left to come home on Sunday. Traffic was moving slow & a car in front of us had an Obama bumper sticker on it. It read: "Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8".


Their Bible was lying on the dash board so got it & opened it up to the scripture and read it. He started laughing & laughing. Then he read it to me. I couldn't believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too.



Psalm 109:8 -- "Let his days be few; and let another take office.”

Please pray with me...

TK

[AllenM]

Originally Posted by Turn Key

Some good friends were in Pigeon Forge over the week end. They left to come home on Sunday. Traffic was moving slow & a car in front of us had an Obama bumper sticker on it. It read: "Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8".


Their Bible was lying on the dash board so got it & opened it up to the scripture and read it. He started laughing & laughing. Then he read it to me. I couldn't believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too.



Psalm 109:8 -- "Let his days be few; and let another take office.”

Please pray with me...

TK

[buzzard pickins]

A truck driver saves a bus load of school children from going over a cliff. The clouds part and a heavenly voice says any wish will be granted. The trucker thought for a moment, "well it would be nice to have a grand highway all the way to Hawaii." GOD replyed "got any ideas a little smaller." The trucker said the second choise would be the gift to understand women. After a long pause GOD replyed would you like that two lane or four.

[2ADMNLOVER]

One day last year it was so cold , I seen a lawyer walking down the street with his hands in his own pockets .

[buzzard pickins]

After 30yrs of SCUBA diving I have never heard of a lawyer being bit by a shark. REASON: PROFESSIONAL COURTESY!

[buzzard pickins]

Two matronly women were enjoying a afternoon matinee at a local cinema. One woman whispered to the other: The man sitting next to me is playing with himself! In reply her friend said: Well lets just move to another seat. The first woman then said: I can' he's using my hand!