GOOD QUOTES

[karlsgunbunker]

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."

-- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

Ihad a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.-- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.-- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.- - Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.-- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.-- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury-- Groucho Marx ;





Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.Alex Levine

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.

Then it's time for my nap.

-- Bob Hope


I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.-- W.C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.-- Will Rogers


Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you-- Winston Churchill


Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.-- Phyllis Diller


By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.-- Billy Crystal


The cardiologist' s diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.




Give me a sense of humor, Lord;

Give me the grace to see a joke,

To get some humor out of life,

And pass it on to other folk.

[munky_3434]

about a week ago at work(federal prison) i heard an inmate say this

"i may be bulletproof, but i aint superman, man"

[Ri22o]

Originally Posted by munky_3434

about a week ago at work(federal prison) i heard an inmate say this

"i may be bulletproof, but i aint superman, man"

It wasn't Fiddy Cent was it?

[munky_3434]

Originally Posted by Ri22o

It wasn't Fiddy Cent was it?

kinda hard to take fiddy as a gangsta since he purchased a mansion in connecituict :do2:

[Bazooka Joe71]

I love Groucho.

[HiRoller]

Come on Karl......you know it's true

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