Dating and Guns from the female perspective

Steelman · 07-25-2008

So I'm almost ready to start dating again after a divorce (a year and a half ago.) The ex-wife knew all about my hobby before we started dating and there wasn't a problem.

So now I have to worry about introducing a date to my hobby.

Carrying during a date could be problematic.

Being asked, "Hey what's in the big green cabinet?" - also a problem.

I don't really subscribe to the "my way or the highway" theory and realize that not everyone grew up with a few AK-clones in the house.

Any advice from a female poster on how this should be handled?

Pami · 07-25-2008

It really all depends on the girl...

I don't think I would make it priority topic #1. But if you go out a few times, it's bound to come up in conversation at some point. If she's already to the point where she's at your house and you're getting cozy and she notices the big green cabinet... chances are she's in to you enough that (at least for that night) it won't matter. I'll be honest, the hobby could be a make-it-or-break-it thing, but if your new date really likes you, she'll accept is as part of you. You never know, you might find yourself with a new range buddy.

One way you could bring it up is, "Oh I'd love to go to the zoo with you on Saturday, but I've already made plans to go shooting with some buddies of mine. You're welcome to come along if you want." (and actually genuinely mean she's welcome to tag along).

But then again, the last time I tried dating, I told the guy I couldn't live with a smoker. He stopped smoking that night, and moved in the next week. Seven and a half years later, I still haven't been able to get rid of him.

Pami · 07-25-2008

PS... I'll add this tidbit: If you get a keeper, and she's really digging you but not the gun hobby, read some of the other posts on how to bring your girl around. The key is that it has to be her decision to accept the guns and it can't be forced on her. Know what her stopping point is in the discussions and always stop at that point, but gently keep nudging her until she comes around. It doesn't have to be a "my way or the highway" type approach. Just understand it may take her some time (read: a year or two) to be more accepting of it. It's part of who you are, and it's not fair to you to ask you to drop something you like doing just to keep her happy.

AFA1CY · 07-25-2008

Just date girls from the range. Problem solved.

Pami · 07-25-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFA1CY

Just date girls from the range. Problem solved.

Haha! I was thinking that, too. However, I have yet to see a girl at the range that wasn't batting for the other team or attached to some hunky guy or three.

Steelman · 07-25-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pami

Haha! I was thinking that, too. However, I have yet to see a girl at the range that wasn't batting for the other team or attached to some hunky guy or three.

I wasn't going to say that, but I was sure as hell thinking it!

Crystalship1 · 07-25-2008

Steelman : "So..... have any hang-ups with people who are into shooting sports and firearms in general"?

Chickypoo : "Oh... yes I hate guns because NPR told me to (or similar blather)"!!!

Steelman : "CHECK PLEASE"!!!!

Ri22o · 07-25-2008

When my girlfriend saw my G19 for the first time, it caught her off guard. Mainly because I had been carrying it the whole time without her knowing, even while we were at her mother's house.

Luckily she is ok with it, and even enjoys shooting.

AFA1CY · 07-25-2008

My wife was not a real gun fun when we were married (27 years ago I might add

) But she came around.

Even been able to have her fire my G22.

flagtag · 07-26-2008

Being a female also, I agree with the "I'm going to do some shooting, would you like to come along? (Or: "I'd like you to come along")

That would tell her about your "hobby/interests" and that you would like to share your passion with her - without getting all "macho".
You could also point out that there may even be other women there that she could talk with - if she is not ready to do any shooting - yet.

07-25-2008	#1 (permalink)
Steelman Plinker Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 240	Dating and Guns from the female perspective So I'm almost ready to start dating again after a divorce (a year and a half ago.) The ex-wife knew all about my hobby before we started dating and there wasn't a problem. So now I have to worry about introducing a date to my hobby. Carrying during a date could be problematic. Being asked, "Hey what's in the big green cabinet?" - also a problem. I don't really subscribe to the "my way or the highway" theory and realize that not everyone grew up with a few AK-clones in the house. Any advice from a female poster on how this should be handled? __________________ Shut up and shoot!

07-25-2008	#2 (permalink)
Pami Certified Cheesehead Importer Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Next to W9ZEB Posts: 2,493	It really all depends on the girl... I don't think I would make it priority topic #1. But if you go out a few times, it's bound to come up in conversation at some point. If she's already to the point where she's at your house and you're getting cozy and she notices the big green cabinet... chances are she's in to you enough that (at least for that night) it won't matter. I'll be honest, the hobby could be a make-it-or-break-it thing, but if your new date really likes you, she'll accept is as part of you. You never know, you might find yourself with a new range buddy. One way you could bring it up is, "Oh I'd love to go to the zoo with you on Saturday, but I've already made plans to go shooting with some buddies of mine. You're welcome to come along if you want." (and actually genuinely mean she's welcome to tag along). But then again, the last time I tried dating, I told the guy I couldn't live with a smoker. He stopped smoking that night, and moved in the next week. Seven and a half years later, I still haven't been able to get rid of him. __________________ "Some of the findings are perhaps contrary to popular perceptions; for example, over the 5-year study period [2000-2004], the use of knives/cutting instruments was over three times more prevalent than the use of a gun. (Based on Table 8.)" http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/schoolviolenc...troduction.htm

07-25-2008	#3 (permalink)
Pami Certified Cheesehead Importer Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Next to W9ZEB Posts: 2,493	PS... I'll add this tidbit: If you get a keeper, and she's really digging you but not the gun hobby, read some of the other posts on how to bring your girl around. The key is that it has to be her decision to accept the guns and it can't be forced on her. Know what her stopping point is in the discussions and always stop at that point, but gently keep nudging her until she comes around. It doesn't have to be a "my way or the highway" type approach. Just understand it may take her some time (read: a year or two) to be more accepting of it. It's part of who you are, and it's not fair to you to ask you to drop something you like doing just to keep her happy. __________________ "Some of the findings are perhaps contrary to popular perceptions; for example, over the 5-year study period [2000-2004], the use of knives/cutting instruments was over three times more prevalent than the use of a gun. (Based on Table 8.)" http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/schoolviolenc...troduction.htm

07-25-2008	#7 (permalink)
Crystalship1 Jeep XJ Owner & Kawasaki Vulcan 1500 Classic Rider Join Date: May 2008 Location: Indianapolis, IN. Posts: 1,682	Steelman : "So..... have any hang-ups with people who are into shooting sports and firearms in general"? Chickypoo : "Oh... yes I hate guns because NPR told me to (or similar blather)"!!! Steelman : "CHECK PLEASE"!!!! __________________ Springfield Armory XD.... Like a Glock, only better!!! "Seems like common sense just isn't all that common anymore" "I didn't help Obama get to the Whitehouse...... I voted for Palin!! " Hi-Point firearms... "Slandered by those who have never owned one... Loved by those who do" Don't believe the . Discover the truth: http://hipointtalk.com/ and: www.shootingtimes.com/handgun_reviews/hipoint_100605/

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07-25-2008	#4 (permalink)
AFA1CY Engineer and all around geek Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 677	Just date girls from the range. Problem solved.

07-25-2008	#8 (permalink)
Ri22o Modberator Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Speedway Posts: 2,410	When my girlfriend saw my G19 for the first time, it caught her off guard. Mainly because I had been carrying it the whole time without her knowing, even while we were at her mother's house. Luckily she is ok with it, and even enjoys shooting.

07-25-2008	#9 (permalink)
AFA1CY Engineer and all around geek Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 677	My wife was not a real gun fun when we were married (27 years ago I might add ) But she came around. Even been able to have her fire my G22.

07-26-2008	#10 (permalink)
flagtag Expert Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Westville, IL Posts: 1,327	Being a female also, I agree with the "I'm going to do some shooting, would you like to come along? (Or: "I'd like you to come along") That would tell her about your "hobby/interests" and that you would like to share your passion with her - without getting all "macho". You could also point out that there may even be other women there that she could talk with - if she is not ready to do any shooting - yet.

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