Lee Trevino is mowing his grass. A man drives by and asks him how much he charges. Trevino says, "I don't charge anything, but the lady that lives here lets me sleep with her."
The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his Deckhand, so they sent an agent to investigate him.
IRS AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them".
Boat Owner: “Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a...
Pileated woodpeckers have punched a nice hole in my wooden mailbox post the last couple of years to get at the bee larvae laid within.
I've used my wicked racquetball backswing to take out 19 so far this year. Record is 33. You need patience to wait for them to get within range, but they will...
When I got mine in St Augustine about 10+ years ago, it cost $10/person I think to get into the fort, but a senior pass allowed us both in for free at a cost of $15 for the lifetime. The guy had no trouble selling passes. I've used it maybe 10x since.
OK story time.
Over 50 years ago a couple of guys pulled up at my grandpa's place early one morning and asked if they could fish his farm pond across the road. They agreed to give him some of their catch, but he said it wasn't necessary. They fished all day. About 5pm they showed up and got...
Drove 12 miles to the Publix in Marathon, FL this AM to get a couple fresh everything bagels. They don't make them fresh anymore? I had to buy a PLASTIC BAG of bagels !! What fresh nightmare is this?
Took the pickup in for an oil change early this morning. Took a cup of coffee with me to pass the time. Truck was done and I hadn't even finished my coffee yet! My whole day was out of whack.