I talked to a retired State Trooper he felt that anything lighter than 180gr isn't going to cut it for an all around bullet. He was from Nebraska, and that was about 30 years ago.I believe the .40 S&W we tested was 180 grain and the .45 acp was 230 grain...
In .40 S&W, I prefer either 155 or 165 grain JHP...heavy enough to generate additional momentum and light enough to not have as harsh of a recoil.
In .45 ACP, I prefer Hornady's 165 grain JHP Hydra-Shok or Remington's Golden Sabre 185 grain JHP, both of which shoots very well (are very accurate and both have a very moderate felt recoil) in the Glock 36 that I like.