caption this

[Integraholic]

Anyone find my contact yet?

 

[Gunaria]

"Hey Boss, da plane da plane"

 

[INyooper]

Keystone Kops in the 21st Century

 

[GREEN607]

The Hoy Chin Lang Police Tactical squad, patiently waits to surprise their Captain on his birthday.

 

[jeremy]

* Redacted

 

[hoosierdoc]

Dang it Jeremy, at least PM me your caption

 

[7th Stepper]

Swat Team? -check
Vice Squad - check
Entire Dept? - check
Fire Dept? - check
Everyone in Riot gear? - check
Every available unit? - check
Every weapon locked & loaded? - check
Patrol Car? - check
Video surveillance? - check

Ok, I think we're ready to storm the building! Remember men, we're here for the BACON! We know he has it hidden in there somewhere, so tear the place apart! Search everywhere, even within the walls! Go in shooting! Deadly Force may be needed if he doesn't give up immediately! Remember, there might be more than just one! The clerk at the store said there were possibly two to three men near the Bacon cooler, so be prepared to defend our National Security Food, it's the symbol of our country! Our new currency! Without it, there'll be riots and blood running down every street!

Hey! You in the back....turn around! The house is THAT -> way!
Ready? Ok, on my mark....one....two....three....TAKE HIM DOWN! He doesn't have a license for that much bacon, his rap sheet for the theft of Bacon is 3 pages long, so he's definitely done this before and is an artery hardened criminal, who knows what he's doing!! Don't wait for the FBI, the CIA, or the ATB we can handle this!

Drive the car slowly up to the front door, remaining sideways so that he can't out smart or overwhelm us! He's a criminal who's threatened the National Security of our entire country. HE MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS!!! And remember, NO eating the evidence! And for heavens sake, keep the dogs away from it! I don't care how good it looks or smells, you'll be breaking the chain of evidence if you even take a bite! It'll be a miracle if it survives the Evidence Locker, and if that happens, IA will bust our chops for insufficient evidence! We have to make these charges stick, the sake of the world depends on it!

Now....GO! GO! GO! TAKE THEM DOWN! Do it for your Country, do it for your family and friends, who'll be rioting in the streets, completely insane if we don't get this guy! And for heavens sake....DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!!!!!


7th Stepper

 

[7th Stepper]

Godzilraa

Technically, it's Godrilla, at least as far as the kids are concerned. Thank God we didn't get Mothra too!

 

[Phase2]

He doesn't have a license for that much bacon, his rap sheet for the theft of Bacon is 3 pages long, so he's definitely done this before and is an artery hardened criminal, who knows what he's doing!!

I wasn't certain where this took place until this part. It must be ATM's house....

 

[7th Stepper]

I wasn't certain where this took place until this part. It must be ATM's house....

Noooo....it wasn't ATM's house, his License is for far more bacon than that! He's one of our highest ranking ATB (Alcohol, Tobacco & Bacon) officials and has unlimited security access to every slice of bacon on the planet!

This guy is a rogue! A deceiver! A covert Turkey Bacon Distributor! Bent on defiling our sacred Bacon! He's a Traitor! A Cad and A Democrat! We must stop him before he causes world destruction! Hurry, time is running out, the clock is ticking, the barrows and gilts are dying, and all our lives as we know them will cease to be if he's allowed to succeed! IT'S TIME TO CALL IN THE BACON OPS!

(Phew...can I come out from under the bed covers now...do they have him? Is it safe? Have we all been saved by ATM's heroic actions to divert the man's plot? <peeking out from under my heating blanket from atop my Sleep # mattress>) IS IT SAFE YET??????

7th <tip toeing> Stepper

 

[ATM]

...IS IT SAFE YET??????

No need to fear, ma'am... I'll handle this.

I am Bacon Man

...and I know Kung-Fu.



(Granted, this picture is from a few years ago, but I'm still in decent shape and think I can still fit into my tights.)

 

[kybares]

That's HIM, that's the guy demanding a livable wage!!!

 

[7th Stepper]

No need to fear, ma'am... I'll handle this.

I am Bacon Man

...and I know Kung-Fu.



(Granted, this picture is from a few years ago, but I'm still in decent shape and think I can still fit into my tights.)

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! INGO's HERO has arrived to save the day! All of our bacon is under his vigilant protection now, shielded by the ever valiant presence of INGO's own SUPER HERO.....BACON MAN!!!!!!
I feel SO much safer now, I can let our daughter out of her hiding place in the bathroom, leash up our vicious villain chomping hounds, take off their stud collars and come out from under my quivering covers, a new and safer woman!

No more Insurgents trying to pawn off Turkey as the real stuff, no more shivering in fear that our next BST will be as wimpy as a corn dog, made out of vegan veggies! We can rest assured that all our precious BACON has been saved, by the valiant, ever present, tireless protection of BACON MAN!!!

And all those poor officers can live to fight another day, their bravery not gone unnoticed.

So the next time a super villain tries to plot such a dastardly deed, we can shine our beacon of the light of BACON MAN (think the Batman light, but with a huge BLT as the symbol) and he will come to aid us in our dire time of need!

Oh thank you BACON MAN, thank you! You're our unsung (or if we're at an Appleseed when it happens, it'll be our singing) SUPERHERO!!!
THERE'S NO NEED TO FEAR....BACON MAN IS HERE!!!!! (insert theme from Underdog here) The Chief of Police will present another Golden Medal to add to his ever growing collection of proof, that even in our darkest hour.....we can always count on BACON MAN to save the day!!!!!

Problem solved!
7th Stepper

(and no, I did NOT just escape from the psych ward....I'm just having a silly and fun day here on Indiana's best Gun site! INGO ROCKS!)