Would you still be his friend?

[INMIline]

I had a buddy call me the other day. He was wondering why we haven't talked in years. I wasn't honest but the truth is in 08 he was laid off. I called and offered him work, $59,000 a year job working 35 hours a week. He replied," I am not out to find work right now I am taking a 2 year paid vacation" This is a very fit man with a child, hard worker, and not lazy.

This was one of my closest friends. He works now that his unemployment ran dry. But I now look at him as a POS. Am I in the wrong?

 

[OneBadV8]

Nope, I'd feel the same way as you.

 

[SSGSAD]

Offer me a $59,000 a year job, and i"ll be your friend for life !!!!!

 

[revsaxon]

Thats always tough. While I don't think it was right to take a 2 year vacation, I can certainly understand the allure. That said since he had a kid andyou offered him that job and he turned you down for it when he obviously had no other options...

Yeah, would defiantly have lost quite a few respect points in my eyes.
(That said, 59k for 35 hours work?! Where do I sign up for that...)

 

[indymps6]

Was he laid off with a severance package or living off the largesse of the taxpayers? If his former company gave him compensation that allowed him to take that time off, well, good for him (but personally I would rather not squander that $ by living off of it). If he lived off the system, that's another story...

 

[lovemachine]

You should kick his ass for being F-ing stupid.

 

[badwolf.usmc]

Yea, he would still be my friend, but it sounds like you're a ****ty friend.

Is this a man you would trust with your family and/or life? If not, then why was he your friend to begin with? If so, do you require all your friends to be "perfect"? I have drug smoking, liberal hippie friends that work "the system" that are against me being in the military, but we get along and I trust them. Maybe i just have an old school idea of what a friend is.

 

[gunman41mag]

I'll take the $59,000 job, I can speak SPANISH & EBONICS

 

[chraland51]

You are right INMIline to have avoided this guy. What he has done is a major part of what is currently wrong with this country. There are just too many freeloaders milking the system just because there are so many other people doing it and because they can. Our two-faced elected representatives promote this kind of behaviour just so they can get re-elected time after time. Chances are you ex-buddy votes for those dirtbags since they keep promising the free ride. If I were king of this place, you would not vote as long as you had an interest in being a parasite on the butt of this country. That would include not only the individual person, but the parents if they were totally dependent upon social security and the children if they were getting federal level freebiees. I might not be president for long, but I would sure put things into my law, like they are currently including, to prevent future congresses from overturning any or part of my laws.

 

[Que]

Yea, he would still be my friend, but it sounds like you're a ****ty friend.

Is this a man you would trust with your family and/or life? If not, then why was he your friend to begin with? If so, do you require all your friends to be "perfect"? I have drug smoking, liberal hippie friends that work "the system" that are against me being in the military, but we get along and I trust them. Maybe i just have an old school idea of what a friend is.

I agree on your major point. People throw around the word "friend" without any understanding of the word. A friend will bruise and hurt you; he will tell you the truth, although it hurts him to say the words. A friend tells the truth in love, knowing the truth will eventually have a perfect work in building the life of his friend, on a solid foundation. The relationship the OP describes is nothing more than a convenient association.

 

[spec4]

The 2 year "paid vacation" shows his values are directly opposite from mine, consequently I wouold not want to be associated with him. It amazes me how some folks have zero ambition. Unless he wins or inherits, this guy will never have anything.

 

[hotfarmboy1]

Offer me a $59,000 a year job, and i"ll be your friend for life !!!!!

This! I'd be real happy with that kind of money for only that many hours. I'd be able to live comfortably and still work on the farm.

 

[HandK]

I agree on your major point. People throw around the word "friend" without any understanding of the word. A friend will bruise and hurt you; he will tell you the truth, although it hurts him to say the words. A friend tells the truth in love, knowing the truth will eventually have a perfect work in building the life of his friend, on a solid foundation. The relationship the OP describes is nothing more than a convenient association.

Words of wisdom there, +1

 

[printcraft]

Yeah, you would not want him working for you anyhow.
I sure as heck would not hire someone like that.
That's a big fail on his part, you would be a paycheck and nothing more.
That is the mark of a worthless employee.

 

[spasmo]

Maybe your friend thought it would be best not to work for a friend at the time. Regardless of how good of friends the two of you are/were, working for friends/family often turns out bad. Maybe he wasn't honest with you either about why he didn't take your job offer.

And if he had a 2 year paid vacation from his job and not the government, I wouldn't blame him. I don't know how old he was at the time or anything but if he had kids then maybe he wanted to spend more time with him too.

There's still not enough of a background here to give you my opinion other than if it's been since 2008 and neither of you have tried contacting the other since then, then you two weren't that good of friends probably to begin with? maybe more of acquaintances? I know I don't talk to my friends often, but I do send them email letting them know I was thinking about them and wondering how they were doing.

If the guy isn't asking you for money or anything like that, then I don't understand why you wouldn't want to be friends with him. FRIENDS are hard to come by really. There are friends(acquaintances) and then there are FRIENDS.

 

[kevman65]

You posted it up in public, so you want opinions.

Here's mine.

"Two year paid vacation" sounds like a severance package and not unemployment. What one decides to do with their severance package is no ones business but that person. You aren't a friend but a judgmental acquaintance who wants all of their acquaintances to perfectly match their ideals.

Maybe, just maybe the person in question wanted to spend time with his children and had the savings plus the severance package to afford him this precious commodity of time.

The rest of you people making judgement calls on what little is offered sound like the same type of person, if someone doesn't exactly match your ideals, they aren't a good friend. Time to go look in the mirror and see who truly isn't a good friend.

 

[gunman41mag]

I didn't judge anybody, I just want the $59,000 job

 

[96firephoenix]

is that job offer still valid?

 

[NYFelon]

Offer not Valid in IN, MI, IL, or Any other US State

 

[BE Mike]

I don't have any freeloading friends, but I have some relatives like that and I can't get rid of them! I have few real friends, but a lot of acquaintances. I know the difference. If you want to re-establish your relationship with this guy, then you need to hang-out and talk more with him. You'll get a better feel for him, and be able to better decide whether or not you want him as a friend or acquaintance.