Heated discussion with the significant other about guns

[billyboyr6]

I have noticed latley that my better half has been advertising to random friends and family that I have been buying guns and that I carry one.

(examples):

1) last weekend her parents were in from out of town and stayed at our place. We were watching American guns as we all socialized and cought up. And in conversation about the guns on TV she let's it be known that I carry a gun. Not a big deal because they don't really care but I don't want it advertised that I carry.

2) last night a friend of hers was over dropping of a couple purses for my other half to look at and maybe buy. And I commented that I wanted one of them being sarcastic and she bluffs out " if you can buy a bunch of guns then I can buy purses".

So after her freind left I told her that I would appreciate it if she would not advertise that I have a collection of guns and that I carry one. And that I just didn't want the wrong ears to hear and draw unwanted attenion to our house or to me.

She got pretty upset with me about the situation. Was I wrong to ask her not to advertise, or am I just to paranoid? I am not sure weather to feel bad about it because I was pretty sturn about it or not. I feel that my guns are my business and if I wanted someone to know about them I would tell them.


What do you guys think? Anyone go through something similar?

 

[iChokePeople]

You are SO sleeping on the couch.

 

[Kase]

I have noticed latley that my better half has been advertising to random friends and family that I have been buying guns and that I carry one.

(examples):

1) last weekend her parents were in from out of town and stayed at our place. We were watching American guns as we all socialized and cought up. And in conversation about the guns on TV she let's it be known that I carry a gun. Not a big deal because they don't really care but I don't want it advertised that I carry.

2) last night a friend of hers was over dropping of a couple purses for my other half to look at and maybe buy. And I commented that I wanted one of them being sarcastic and she bluffs out " if you can buy a bunch of guns then I can buy purses".

So after her freind left I told her that I would appreciate it if she would not advertise that I have a collection of guns and that I carry one. And that I just didn't want the wrong ears to hear and draw unwanted attenion to our house or to me.

She got pretty upset with me about the situation. Was I wrong to ask her not to advertise, or am I just to paranoid? I am not sure weather to feel bad about it because I was pretty sturn about it or not. I feel that my guns are my business and if I wanted someone to know about them I would tell them.


What do you guys think? Anyone go through something similar?

I go through s*** like this all the time.

What I foun that helped, was to get her more into firearms in general. She now has her own pistol, and rarely ever tells anyone about it. Once they see the other side of the fence, its not too bad.

Just have patience and it will work out.

 

[eldirector]

Not really similar in my house, but I understand what you mean. The whole point of concealed is to not advertise. Maybe comparing it to flashing $100's or something else she would "get"?

I'd ask her what is really bothering her. It almost sounds like she is on the fence about the whole "gun" thing, so is feeling out the reactions of others.

 

[jamesg]

i guess i can see your point, although wouldn't the fact you keep guns in the house be a deterrent?

I am sure we guys would not hesitate to announce our wives purse and shoe collection costs as much as our guns.

 

[nox]

I don't mind if she tells my family, we all shoot together anyway. Heck, my brother is usually one of the first people that gets a picture message after I buy a new gun.

I did have to ask her not to talk about it at work though, just because you never know who might over hear something and either take it the wrong way or doing something stupid.

 

[SSGSAD]

No you are not wrong, or paranoid ..... just need to help her understand, that the more people know, then more people will know ... and owning such "things" CAN make YOU and YOURS, a TARGET ..... just sit and talk calmly, and let her know, that "YOUR COLLECTION", is a "wanted" item on the "streets", and YOU want her and the kids to be "safe" .....

 

[geronimojoe85]

just look for places to interject personal things about her in conversations with friends.
standing in the Coach Outlet store:
She says: "I wish I could afford that new bag."
You say: "Well Honey, You could afford it if you didnt blow so much money on "personal massagers"

random stuff like that, doesn't even need to be true.

she'll pick up the art of disgression really quick.

 

[scott delaney]

my policie.....dont ask.....dont tell

 

[fastwally]

Diamonds work nicely.

 

[IndyGunworks]

I think that the internet forum is not the place to come for relationship advice.

If she got honestly upset at this request, perhaps you worded it wrong, or didnt communicate it in an open way.

It sounds more like a communication breakdown between both parties more than it is the actual issue of her making the comments.

something else has to be the issue for her to get upset with that request, perhaps she doesnt actually approve of what you are spending w/out discussing it with her first, and her comments in front of other people are subtle vents because she doesnt know how to communicate to you that she is upset about something gun related.

 

[gglass]

OP - It sounds to me that you are the one with an issue about guns in the family. Your wife can talk freely about them, but you want to remain a firearms introvert.

I personally could care less who knows I own guns or carry guns. I even open cary about 75% of the time.

Why not just come to grips with the fact that you are a gun toting citizen of these United States, and stop keeping your legal birthright of firearms ownership a secret. You seem to think that gun possession is like a Scarlet Letter of shame.

 

[billyboyr6]

Not really similar in my house, but I understand what you mean. The whole point of concealed is to not advertise. Maybe comparing it to flashing $100's or something else she would "get"?

I'd ask her what is really bothering her. It almost sounds like she is on the fence about the whole "gun" thing, so is feeling out the reactions of others.

When I get a new gun I will send pics to other gun buddy's and her argument was that I tell all of my friends about them so why caint she tell people about them. I guess she didn't realize that some people just like to keep it quiet. So I thought I was doing the right thing by asking her not to do it anymore.

About a year ago I was not allowed to have any handguns because her brother (looser) had one and had an AD in her dads house and she really thought it was the guns fought. Lol It took me for ever to convince her that it Was operator error instead and to let me have one.

I could have bought one against her will, but I respected her fear and helped her through it. She has since shot a number of my guns and is more comfortable around them. But I can tell that she still has some fear of them. Every time she sees one in my hands I already know it's coming," is that loaded"? I always answer all her questions and try to help her understand that they are safe if saftey is practiced with them.

 

[Mackey]

I've been there. It's not the guns. She may not feel wanted, needed or special and may be jealous of you're hobby and/or the time you spend on it. Someone suggested getting her into guns, might work, didn't for me. Scolding her about not telling about your guns or carry status (I'd be miffed if I were you too) won't work. I'm thinking she just wants to get your attention, and she's doing it like a bad kid would.

Do something crazy like:
"Hey hon, know what I love more than all my gun? .... you."
"Is there anyway I can make you feel more important to me, cause I can't take you apart and oil you..."
you know, sweet stuff.

GOOD LUCK BRUTHA, cause if mama ain't happy, ain't no body happy.

 

[gglass]

OP - It sounds to me that you are the one with an issue about guns in the family. Your wife can talk freely about them, but you want to remain a firearms introvert.

I personally could care less who knows I own guns or carry guns. I even open cary about 75% of the time. When people come to the house, I'm the one who usually brings up the subject of guns, and if others are interested, I bring 'em out for a quick gun show... Good times!

Why not just come to grips with the fact that you are a gun toting citizen of these United States, and stop keeping your legal birthright of firearms ownership a secret. You seem to think that gun possession is like a Scarlet Letter of shame.

 

[billyboyr6]

OP - It sounds to me that you are the one with an issue about guns in the family. Your wife can talk freely about them, but you want to remain a firearms introvert.

I personally could care less who knows I own guns or carry guns. I even open cary about 75% of the time.

Why not just come to grips with the fact that you are a gun toting citizen of these United States, and stop keeping your legal birthright of firearms ownership a secret. You seem to think that gun possession is like a Scarlet Letter of shame.

I am in no way ashamed of my guns, and was just trying to tell her that not everyone is comfortable around them and maybe some are better of not knowing that there is one it the same room as they are possibly in their own house.

And for the record, just about everyone I know is into guns and have collections of their own and know about mine. I'm not trying to keep it a secret, but I think she needs to think about who is listening before she advertises that kind of thing.

 

[dcahsr23]

thats why I love my woman she doesnt talk about it unless I am. Cause i dont want every Joe Blow knowing what i have or carry.

 

[billyboyr6]

I think that the internet forum is not the place to come for relationship advice.

If she got honestly upset at this request, perhaps you worded it wrong, or didnt communicate it in an open way.

It sounds more like a communication breakdown between both parties more than it is the actual issue of her making the comments.

something else has to be the issue for her to get upset with that request, perhaps she doesnt actually approve of what you are spending w/out discussing it with her first, and her comments in front of other people are subtle vents because she doesnt know how to communicate to you that she is upset about something gun related.

Come on man, I wasn't asking for relationship help, lol. Just feedback if I was a dick for asking her not to advertise. I felt the explanation was necessary for all to understand.

 

[eldirector]

Besides, I get the BEST relationship advice on INGO!

Well, I actually do the exact opposite of what you all post, but it works!

 

[IndyGunworks]

Come on man, I wasn't asking for relationship help, lol. Just feedback if I was a dick for asking her not to advertise. I felt the explanation was necessary for all to understand.

What did i say wrong?

My wife and i very rarely argue about anything. we have lots and lots of discussions that are VERY open, which leads to alot of comprimises, and also leads to me learning somethings that bother her and create reactions that in no way would i have ever thought would be related to what the actual issue was.

BUT, when we sit down and talk about things stuff like that comes out.