Against owning a gun...

[rhino]

I think my mom still doesn't like that I sometimes have contact with firearms, and even though I'm a boy, I'm her baby (the youngest!). She's mostly good about it, but every once in a while I get a reminder. Every time I leave the house to take a class, teach a class, shoot a match, etc. she asks me not to go.

Hopefully you'll get some good instruction from a good teacher and the confidence you build as your skills grow and develop will help you deal with the inevitable objections from family members.

 

[JByer323]

The only advice I can give you is once you've picked/purchased said gun, get some training. Most importantly, everyone needs it.

But you an also now tell your mom/sister "Look, I own a gun, but I've taken practical courses in how to use and implement is safely and efficiently."

That's what we call ammo.

 

[Annie Oakley]

Or, show your mom and sister this...

Your mom sounds like mine. She wants me to be all pretty and feminine... I simply say. "Fine mom. I'll buy a PINK gun!"

Hon, there comes a point in your life where you realize that what other people think doesn't matter. They do not define who you are. But for what it's worth, I think you're AWESOME!!!

Love this and I think she is AWESOME as well. Good lord, I hate pink.....

 

[Roadie]

The only advice I can give you is once you've picked/purchased said gun, get some training. Most importantly, everyone needs it.

But you an also now tell your mom/sister "Look, I own a gun, but I've taken practical courses in how to use and implement is safely and efficiently."

That's what we call ammo.

I can't praise the NRA Basic Pistol course enough. I highly recommend it.

Rachel, you will even get a frameable certificate you can hang on the wall to point to when you say "See! I even took training!"

 

[Jack Ryan]

...I'm really getting fed up.
I'm not sure how to handle this. I feel very strongly about purchasing (and carrying) and I dont want to hear the crap lines they are feeeding me.

I'm not sure the reasoning behind their comments. Maybe it's because I am the baby of the family, and at 25 they refuse to think I am grown up...

It just really boils down to one thing, are you REALLY grown up?

If you are living on your own, paying your own bills, and supporting yourself then you are a grown up ready to take responsibility for your own decisions. Can't stop advice but in the end you can do what you want. If this is the case my advice is to just not bring it up. What would be the point?

If you still live with mom and dad, they pay your bills, tuition, rent or provide you with a car, what ever, then you are not a grown up ready to make your own decisions and accept responsibility for the results.

 

[IUGradStudent]

The only advice I can give you is once you've picked/purchased said gun, get some training. Most importantly, everyone needs it.

But you an also now tell your mom/sister "Look, I own a gun, but I've taken practical courses in how to use and implement is safely and efficiently."

That's what we call ammo.

I was thinking this, too. I was also thinking maybe taking a course that includes a unit on how to keep control of your weapon in an encounter would also be good. Then when they say your gun will be taken away from you and used against you you can respond that you've had training in how to avoid that (probably from the same people who train the police). A private 1-2 hour session just on that after you've done NRA Pistol or something similar might be good -- or a more "fighting pistols" oriented course, though that might be a bit too intense. Just another idea to consider. Best of luck with the fam! And don't get too frustrated and mad -- if you do that you've already lost no matter what you say!

 

[tedbower]

Training,Training,Training, you cant get enough. I handed my 14 yr old son a colt 45 I bought ,I said it might be loaded , his response was i have heard that all my life i'll check it.I know he will but i still have to say it.

 

[lovemywoods]

Source of their resistance...

It's normal to want the approval of your family regarding all aspects of your life. The reality is that it isn't always going to happen.

Understanding the reason(s) they don't approve of your decision to protect yourself and your family may make it easier for you to move ahead with your decision without dragging a cargo of guilt or awkwardness. You may want to have a candid discussion with them to explore their concerns. The goal is to understand their points of view, not to endorse them. Along the way, you may be able to reduce some of their concerns by educating them about responsible firearms use and ownership.

One source of resistance will not likely be identified, but it is often very real. Whenever someone in a group decides to do something that is outside the normal pattern for the group, there is a reaction against that idea or choice so that the group's normalcy is maintained. The new idea causes the people in the group to examine themselves and ask whether they should be going in this new direction. This can cause very painful self-inspection. This upsets the 'harmony' within the group. It can cause a very strong reaction and often the people may not even know why they are reacting the way they are.

Let me give an example.
‘Susan’ is part of a multi-generational welfare family. Most people in her family either hold non-skilled jobs or none at all. High school is the highest level reached by anyone in the family. Susan is bright and decides to go to college. What seems like a noble idea is met with resistance all around. Susan is peppered with questions and concerns about the cost and benefit of going to college. She is repeatedly quizzed about why she feels the need to go away from the area and go to school. Why doesn’t she just get married and start a family like everyone else in the family? Anecdotal evidence is offered about other people who went to college and are now working in a fast food place. Susan can’t understand why her family doesn’t support her in this decision.

Here’s the key lesson. Susan’s decision to go to college forces people in her family to examine their lives and raises questions about why they didn’t have more ambition and go to school. It makes them uncomfortable because they don’t want to have to think about questions like these. It makes them psychologically threatened. To avoid going anywhere near that threat, they will turn on the person causing them to ask those uncomfortable questions. That’s why Susan’s family was unsupportive of her choice. It wasn’t about her, it was really about them!

Stick to you guns (pun intended), tell your family often that you love them and forge ahead! Over time, they will get used to the idea of you and firearms and they will quit talking about it.

 

[kludge]

^^^ rep'd

Rachel, keep in mind that your mother and sister are simply projecting their own fears onto your situation. When they ask things like "Why would you want to carry a gun?", what they are really saying is "I am scared of guns and would never carry one". Their reasons for not liking guns are fear- and emotion-based-- not logical. Tossing facts and figures might help a bit, but a total turnaround probably won't happen until they conquer their fear. And keep in mind that their fear might not necessarily be fear of guns, but perhaps fear of self-reliance or fear of conflict. Your choosing to carry a gun might be bringing up some ugly truths they don't want to face-- truths like "we're vulnerable" or "there are predators out there". Many people take the "ignorance is bliss" attitude and are content to stick their heads in the sand.

rep'd.

Wow, 9 hours and 5 pages... I hope women are treated this well at gun shops/shows.

... I'm not addressing anyone in particular here, but my wife is sleeping and I'm not; so sorry if I ramble...

... I don't remember who made the comment about "they'll just take your gun away and use it against you" but... If someone is going to take your gun away from you, pulling the trigger will almost always prevent it. Action is always faster than reaction... do something (besides cowering) and you will disrupt their plan.

For the ones who say a woman should just get a stun gun/martial arts classes... I say, Why on earth do you want him that close to you? Why, as women often suggest these things to other women, would I choose a fighting method that still leaves me at such a disadvantage? "Well I don't want to kill anybody" is often the answer. Of course you don't, you're a thinking, feeling human being. But obviously the piece of trash guy attacking you has no such consideration for your welfare, and couldn't care less whether you live or die.

All a woman has to do is find a reason deep within for why she wants to live, and she will kick and claw until her last breath, just like Momma Bear, and wanting to protect a child is one of the many reasons... but also consider that even when you're not with your child, and your child is not the one being directly threatened, the pain and suffering your child will bear without you is also reason to keep yourself alive.

 

[RachelMarie]

It just really boils down to one thing, are you REALLY grown up?

If you are living on your own, paying your own bills, and supporting yourself then you are a grown up ready to take responsibility for your own decisions. Can't stop advice but in the end you can do what you want. If this is the case my advice is to just not bring it up. What would be the point?

If you still live with mom and dad, they pay your bills, tuition, rent or provide you with a car, what ever, then you are not a grown up ready to make your own decisions and accept responsibility for the results.

Are you serious? I'm a 25 year old MOM/WIFE...Of course I dont live with my parents.
I'm going to bed. I just wanted to get that out there!

 

[IUGradStudent]

Are you serious? I'm a 25 year old MOM/WIFE...Of course I dont live with my parents.
I'm going to bed. I just wanted to get that out there!

I think he was just saying "look, you're grown up, you're in charge of you, so if this is what you want to do, then do it." I think there's a lot more to be said about how you can approach them and deal with them, but I don't think he was seriously suggesting you still live with your parents. He was just saying you're on your own so you can decide

 

[Redskinsfan]

Or, show your mom and sister this...

Your mom sounds like mine. She wants me to be all pretty and feminine... I simply say. "Fine mom. I'll buy a PINK gun!"

Hon, there comes a point in your life where you realize that what other people think doesn't matter. They do not define who you are. But for what it's worth, I think you're AWESOME!!!

Jennybird is entirely correct in all of the above.

You are old enough to tell Mom and your sister politely that you have made your decision about a gun and there is no longer a need to discuss it. Also, you may choose to not bring it up again and the above statement is only necessary if they choose to initiate the topic again.

Terry

 

[ljadayton]

I didn't meet a lot of resistance from anyone in my immediate family when I told them I was getting a gun and taking a class. My MIL asked why I wanted a gun and I told her that with all the driving I do and time spend where it's just me and her grandson, she should love me having a gun. And she got it. Because she knows me and knows I'll do whatever I have to to protect my son. I think it boils down to if YOU want the gun, get it, get the training and calmly tell them that you got the gun and training to protect yourself and your daughter. The gun is the ultimate equalizer. I'm not a little girl but I couldn't defend myself against a big guy, unless I have my gun. Especially if the guy is high/drunk. And leave it at that. They probably will never accept it or go to the range, but you might get lucky and have them leave you alone about it, especially if they can't SEE the gun. Just my thoughts

 

[Jack Ryan]

Are you serious? I'm a 25 year old MOM/WIFE...Of course I dont live with my parents.
I'm going to bed. I just wanted to get that out there!

Don't see any thing in the original post that would lead me to ASSUME that much but if that's the case, I don't see where your problem is other than if they ban you from carrying it in their house. In that situation I'd just lock it in the car at the curb when I was visiting them. Respect their house and house rules when you are there and expect the same respect in return when they visit yours.

Outside of your relatives in opposition's property and position of authority, such as your own house or public resturaunts, here's one possible reply to any statements of concern.

"Mother/father/sister I know you are concerned with my safety but I feel I need to take responsibility for my own safety rather than wait for a police officer to come fill out the paper work. I've made sure I am competent to handle this tool and intend to make good use of it. (MAKE SURE IT'S TRUE BEFORE YOU SAY IT) The topic of my purchasing it is something I considered settled and not something I wish to discuss. Now let's enjoy our time together and move on to something more entertaining to talk about."

If they ever become genuinely interested in learning about the subject rather than just initiating an opportunity to preach, then is the time to be prepared with appropriate and accurate information.

 

[Chefcook]

Rachel, keep in mind that your mother and sister are simply projecting their own fears onto your situation. When they ask things like "Why would you want to carry a gun?", what they are really saying is "I am scared of guns and would never carry one". Their reasons for not liking guns are fear- and emotion-based-- not logical. Tossing facts and figures might help a bit, but a total turnaround probably won't happen until they conquer their fear. And keep in mind that their fear might not necessarily be fear of guns, but perhaps fear of self-reliance or fear of conflict. Your choosing to carry a gun might be bringing up some ugly truths they don't want to face-- truths like "we're vulnerable" or "there are predators out there". Many people take the "ignorance is bliss" attitude and are content to stick their heads in the sand.

For a quick read, that hits on facts AND emotions, I recommend 40 Reasons for Gun Control

Good luck!

True that... +1 repped...

 

[Rookie]

Or, show your mom and sister this...

Does anyone know where I can get my wife and girls this shirt?

 

[Biohazard]

Thread detour:

Unique designs on CafePress gifts, t-shirts and more
Google rocks


Back to the topic at hand........

 

[ljadayton]

Something occurred to me while we were coming back from my son's TKD class. Would your family have any problem with you taking another form of self defense class, i.e. a martial arts class? If not, ask them what's the difference (other then you probably can't kill yourself with martial arts). A firearm is just another means to defend yourself, and it's one of your rights as an American citizen.

 

[RachelMarie]

Update.....

She brought it up again on the phone today. She started in with the whole "Are you really sure this is something you are serious about", "I think you should pray about it".

I told her I have prayed about it (and I have), and that this is something I want to do for my family, and I WILL do it with or with our her *okay*. But I'd prefer her to be happy for me. I've already gotten a gun safe,(I'm also CPR certified), and plan to take courses when the time arises that I get my gun (waiting until AFTER my vacation).

Also, I sent her a few links and videos to maybe ease her mind a bit. She's still not okay with it, but she knows I'm going to do it. It was a rather intense conversation, but I think it was a good one to have.
My sister on the other hand, can just deal. (Her, I'm not too worried about weather she cares or not anymore).

Thanks for the replies and links etc. It really DID help. Hopefully this is the last of the crappy comments. ugh. I feel like I've finally gotten through to her....atleast made her realize this is WHAT I WANT....and I'm not going to settle for a stupid self defense class that, in the long run, isn't going to protect anyone.

Yeah, so...thanks again!

 

[RachelMarie]

Oh...And I'm so buying one of those shirts! Thanks for the link