Appropriate Behavior in a Cemetery

[JettaKnight]

Do cemetery trends change that often? Quiet respect = good. Being a loud turd = bad. Again, I'm glad we agree.

Well, yes, they do change.

A century ago it was quite common to picnic in cemeteries. They were (and some still are) beautiful places that beg to be enjoyed.

 

[JeremiahJohnson]

There are plenty of INGO members gone on record that protests at cemeteries is fine and dandy. Some POS shouting in grieving family members faces during a burial service is perfectly fine, so they say.

Not me. Reverence and respect I say.

 

[BE Mike]

One of the first things I learned about cemeteries is that you do not walk on the graves. Between, above (as in behind the headstone), etc. are OK, but not over the bodies. I don't know if the origin of that was religious or personal to my parents. The comments about kids playing (while accompanied by parents) brought this to mind. I don't know that I'd consider children playing there to be respectful, any more than I would consider it OK in synagogue/church. I'm of the opinion that children need to be able to play and to BE children, but they also need to learn that there is a time and a place, and that some times and places call for quiet, respectful silence and stillness (as much as they can manage, anyway; )I don't mean stock still and forbidden to utter a peep, but if they can't at least get close to what is expected of adults, then they probably should be left with a babysitter/caretaker until they can.

To relate this back to the focus of this board, we say often that if a child is to go to the range, s/he should be of an age and responsibility level to do EXACTLY what they are told WHEN they are told to do it and ask questions later. That is, tell them to stop (whatever), that doesn't mean, "when I finish", it means right now. "Cease Fire!" is a good example of why. So... given that, why would we expect less of them in a place where people are mourning their loved ones' passage than we would on a range, where we want and expect them to have a good time?

A cemetery is a place of dignity and quiet reflection/respect. A noisy child in a worship service is (or should be) taken outside to quiet him/her. I think the same rule should apply. YMMV.

Blessings,
Bill

I agree with you, but I believe that our view is old school. Many of today's parents think that children should have a free reign. If someone, even in church, shows any sign of being disturbed, those same type of parents will immediately direct disdain at the adults and not correct the children's behavior. There is a time and place for everything and children should be taught at an early age of what's appropriate and what is not. The problem is that in some instances a parent may have to tell a child "NO", and some parents just don't seem capable of that.

 

[BE Mike]

On one of our SAR exercises, the practice beacon was placed on top of a headstone in one of the local cemetery. I vectored the ground team into the area from the air. When the ground team leader found the beacon, he announced the find and that there were dead bodies everywhere. We all laughed. It was funny. We then went on to the next mission.

I visit a couple of buddies at Arlington National Cemetery in the VietNam section every time I am out there. I know for a fact that if I used their headstone for this, it would have cracked them up. I can see their faces even now.

I agree with the respect part of what everyone is talking about, but as a Christian, I know that there is only human remains in any cemetery. All of the souls are long gone to their reward. I do believe in saying out loud the names of those who have passed. I do this every day.

I admit to having long conversations with one individual in section 66 at Arlington. I have spent more than a couple warm afternoons sitting on SFC Cutino's grave telling him about his children and family. Someone here will think it is silly. I don't care.

I know all about the Old Guard and the honorable service that they perform every day and the respect that they command in the area. Standing watch over the Unknown is not the same as friends visiting graves of buddies.

You bring up a very good point. Different cemeteries command different behavior. I've been to Dead Wood and Arlington. I've been to the cemetery in Fort Harrod, KY. I visited the grave of my great grandfather at the national cemetery in Virginia. I behaved differently at those places than I do at the isolated country cemetery where my relatives rest. I take my little dog with me to that cemetery, but I only let the dog out of the truck if no one else is present. If someone were to show up, I'd put the dog back in the truck immediately.

 

[TB1999]

You bring up a very good point. Different cemeteries command different behavior. I've been to Dead Wood and Arlington. I've been to the cemetery in Fort Harrod, KY. I visited the grave of my great grandfather at the national cemetery in Virginia. I behaved differently at those places than I do at the isolated country cemetery where my relatives rest.

Why?

 

[Mark 1911]

One of the first things I learned about cemeteries is that you do not walk on the graves. Between, above (as in behind the headstone), etc. are OK, but not over the bodies. I don't know if the origin of that was religious or personal to my parents. The comments about kids playing (while accompanied by parents) brought this to mind. I don't know that I'd consider children playing there to be respectful, any more than I would consider it OK in synagogue/church. I'm of the opinion that children need to be able to play and to BE children, but they also need to learn that there is a time and a place, and that some times and places call for quiet, respectful silence and stillness (as much as they can manage, anyway; )I don't mean stock still and forbidden to utter a peep, but if they can't at least get close to what is expected of adults, then they probably should be left with a babysitter/caretaker until they can.

To relate this back to the focus of this board, we say often that if a child is to go to the range, s/he should be of an age and responsibility level to do EXACTLY what they are told WHEN they are told to do it and ask questions later. That is, tell them to stop (whatever), that doesn't mean, "when I finish", it means right now. "Cease Fire!" is a good example of why. So... given that, why would we expect less of them in a place where people are mourning their loved ones' passage than we would on a range, where we want and expect them to have a good time?

A cemetery is a place of dignity and quiet reflection/respect. A noisy child in a worship service is (or should be) taken outside to quiet him/her. I think the same rule should apply. YMMV.

Blessings,
Bill

I learned this too. It's not always possible because sometimes graves are not in perfect rows, but respectfully avoid intentionally stepping on a grave.

 

[Mark 1911]

There are plenty of INGO members gone on record that protests at cemeteries is fine and dandy. Some POS shouting in grieving family members faces during a burial service is perfectly fine, so they say.

Not me. Reverence and respect I say.

I would agree that cemeteries are the wrong place to stage a protest. Besides, seems to me a sure bet to turn everyone against your cause.

 

[cce1302]

I've been spending quite a bit of time in a rather well-known cemetery lately.

Walking/running/cycling for exercise seems ok. Marching bands ok. Firing cannons and rifles ok. Preaching & praying ok.





The official story from the tomb of the unknown soldier is that the guard is descended from a veteran who used to stand guard over a monument that resembled a picnic table. He began guarding it because he considered it disrespectful when people would bring their picnic lunches sit on it.

 

[digitalmonster]

as long as they are not being disrespectful all is good to go. Getting fit is respectful to life.

 

[One Shot One Kill]

I was always under the impression that cemetaries are for the living not the dead. So as long as you don't "disrespect the dead" of the living ancestors intentionally, I dont see how walking through a cemetary or walking your dog there can be 'disrespectful to the dead'. I always found that phrase funny, If i was dead I don't know how someone could offend ME, maybe my family, but they wouldn't be dead.
Gotta love english where one things means another, yah!

 

[You'll shoot your eye out]

Not to smut up this thread, and neither personally admitting or denying this kind of behavior, BUT........ Am I to understand that not one person here has ever had sex in a graveyard?

 

[Huzrjim]

One of my hobbies is supporting the memorial site: Find A Grave - Millions of Cemetery Records. I've taken several hundred photos and established memorials for many graves on that site, but I'm an amateur as there are many members that have contributed thousands of and even one gentleman that is approaching one million memorials.

Find a Grave is free and open to anyone searching for long lost and buried relatives.

 

[DragonGunner]

I never heard about not walking over the grave, I go see my Dads grave and usually stand to the side, but I'm sure I have walked over it, doubt he cares. I say do onto others as you would have them to do to you…In that case when I die and buried its ok for kids to play over my grave, to run around, have a picnic, jog…shoot you guys do whatever…I've told friends I want a ramp put up and for them to ride and jump their quads (ATV) over my grave and have some fun, I'm dead and can't have that anymore, no reason the rest can't enjoy. Actually I have a plot but been thinking of cremation and have my son scatter me through the woods….just be respectful of others when there.

 

[BE Mike]

I was always under the impression that cemetaries are for the living not the dead. So as long as you don't "disrespect the dead" of the living ancestors intentionally, I dont see how walking through a cemetary or walking your dog there can be 'disrespectful to the dead'. I always found that phrase funny, If i was dead I don't know how someone could offend ME, maybe my family, but they wouldn't be dead.
Gotta love english where one things means another, yah!

To me, showing respect for the deceased is also showing respect for the living who cared about him or her. Honoring our dead also sets an example for our children. It sends a message of: "Live your life with honor and you will honor those close to you upon your death."

 

[Cemetery-man]

Doesn't bother me at all. We actually welcome the interruption. 10 minutes of interaction with some kids or petting a visiting pet is a whole lot more exciting than talking to the dead 9 hours a day.

we have never had any real problems with disrespectful people. None that i can recall. Maybe a few angry ones when we accidentally mow off their flowers.

 

[JettaKnight]

Not to smut up this thread, and neither personally admitting or denying this kind of behavior, BUT........ Am I to understand that not one person here has ever had sex in a graveyard?

We can increase the count by two.

 

[Informed Decision]

We can increase the count by two.

Huh.. Make that three. But in defense, I didn't know it til the next day!! No markers, foggy & never left the vehicle!! Now..what was her name ?

 

[msmeek12]

I think reverence is appropriate in a cemetery. Pretty much sums it up for me.

I'm with this guy. I'm 27 and I visit my brother all the time in the cemetery. I ride my bike to see him some times...but I would never jog through or do anything in a cemetery with people I don't know or anything for fun...that's just weird if you ask me.

 

[Kutnupe14]

Safest place during the Zombie apocalypse. The zombies are 6ft under, and in a box.