Beer Sale...

[squish]

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Walmart
The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies. 'Put them back, we can't afford them, demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband. 'It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife. Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of beer and it's half the price.' He never knew what hit him.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and
screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....