BIL has not called since the will was shared and settled.

[churchmouse]

My brother (only sibling) died three years before my mother. He had two sons. When Mom died I had control of her estate. I sold the house, paid the bills, funeral expenses, etc. I subtracted my considerable costs for all this, plane tickets, etc. Of the remainder I gave myself 50% and the two nephews 25% each. Mom said she had instructions written down but we never found them. I did find a note on a CD that she indicated if my brother or I predeceased her, our share was to go to the kids which is what I did.

Some had criticized me for not giving my daughters a share.

When my and my spouses parents died we saw to it that the kids got a share. My dads house needed a lot of work to get it on the market and clear out the semi-hoarder cap so we paid them to clear it out, clean it up and do the painting. They were paid well for this. They got to pick from the furniture what they wanted (not much as to the style) and the rest was sold in a yard sale. They split the proceeds.
We also took them on Vacation to Florida. Condo on the beach just north of treasure Island. Fair as we could be.

To criticize how someone handles an estate unless you are involved in it is pretty much verboten in my mind.

 

[BiscuitsandGravy]

I'm with you here GFGT. I think my mom is a little regretful that she won't have more to leave us, but none of us care. My wife's side of the family has money and when I see how the family members are acting(even though both their mom and dad are still alive and fairly healthy), I'm glad we won't have an estate to deal with. Though, ironically, us brothers would not have any issues dividing one up if there was one.

My mom and dad came to America from Germany in the early 50's with two suitcases. They worked hard, raised us boys well and made a way. My brother's and I made our own way. My kids are making their own way. Would I like to be able to leave something? Sure. But if I can't, I can leave them with a solid footing and a means to provide for themselves and their family. I help when I can with my super,duper handy skills and they are happy for that. Mostly they are happy that we raised them with a positive outlook on life and a good work ethic.

That's an inheritance I can be happy with.

+ what CM said. Everyones situation is unique to themselves. Wrong is wrong.

 

[510picker]

Money does not give you character... money reveals the character you already have.

My nomination for quote of the year!

 

[rkwhyte2]

I won't lament on my story as it is like the others listed here. Money does not give you character... money reveals the character you already have.

Couldn't have said it better. Overall it is too bad the way things work out sometimes. I no longer have a real relationship with my sister. Oh well

 

[hoosierdaddy1976]

When my dad died, I got his bowling ball.

 

[flatlander]

Haven't seen or talked to family since Mom died in 1999. Couldn't tell you if they are alive or dead.
**** 'em. Good riddance.

Bob

 

[Woobie]

Mom and dad aren't in the best health. I'm sure I'll be dealing with this sooner than I like. Son #1 and his wife I know are going to be a headache about the money. They live 5 hours away. Son #2 is pretty flaky, and an alcoholic. Don't get me wrong, they're good guys. But they don't have a really solid track record of character. Son #3 (me) is the executor. Son #4 is the best of the bunch, and hopefully we can get through it together. There won't be a ton to divide up, but I just know there will be conflict.

OP, I hope things clear up between you and the BIL. Maybe give him a call or something if you think it's appropriate. Some people just grieve in strange ways.

 

[SnoopLoggyDog]

When my dad died, I got his bowling ball.

When I was cleaning out my Dad's place, I found several bowing balls in the attic of the garage. He was a hoarder to the extreme. Several garage sales and two dumpsters later, we had all the junk gone.

Took me several weeks of cleaning, painting and installing new carpet, along with fixing hundreds of issues, before we could sell the house. In the end, the house went back to the bank and they ended up selling it. At least, the note on the house was free and clear in regards to the estate.

 

[Jtrain]

When my dad died, I got his bowling ball.

I got a Budweiser and a pair of worn out cowboy boots

 

[Jeff]

I am as poor as they come and when my parents passed within six months of each other in 2014 it did not take my sister long to travel up here from her million dollar home and empty their bank account and take all their possessions (No will). She knew I could not afford an attorney so I let her take it all. (His prized 79 GMC Truck, all his tools, all his guns, and the money from the sale of the house). I wish no harm or bad luck to her or her family but I do believe in Karma. Anyways, my parents gave me life. What more could I ask for.

 

[DRob]

My FIL has some money. I have little idea how much but the wife says she and each of her 5 siblings will get a six figure amount. His girlfriend will also get a chunk but I don't know if she will get an equal share or not. Maybe more, maybe less. He has had each of them open an account with his stock broker and his financial assets will be distributed into those accounts upon his passing per his will. There are a couple of the siblings who I believe will come up with reasons why they should get a larger cut. Hope I'm wrong. Hell, I hope he outlives me!

 

[CountryBoy19]

My parents were very blessed financially and also wise. My stepbrother was a vulture and I know the love of money is the root of all evil. My folks paid 5% to a family friend to execute the will as we had lots of rentals and other residential property. Everyone was given a percentage and anything belonging to them could be purchased during the auction from your inheritance. Smart!

IMHO, the auction method is the best method for any items not spelled out in a will...

Divide liquid assets up, each gets their share, then they can buy the items they want from the estate, money left after the auction is divided up again...

 

[hoosierdoc]

Read the will out loud while you are able. Do it at a family gathering. Don't make your executor deal with the hurt feelings and BS

 

[LtScott14]

Sad but true stories! There are family members who perceive Take and run. I changed the locks on my parents house and only 1 sister complained. She had sticky fingers, and raided Grandparents house after their passing. All rest understood, and Psycho Sis hasn't spoke to me in 7 years. No loss. We did the fair and right things. Equally. Other family all talk and get along. Be aware of Vultures.

 

[churchmouse]

My nomination for quote of the year!

2nd this.

 

[rob63]

One thing I have learned over the years is that people that do the wrong thing always feel justified in doing it because they assume everyone else is as bad as them. Thus, if you stop them from doing wrong they think you have cheated them because they believe you already got yours and then stopped them from doing the same.

 

[churchmouse]

One thing I have learned over the years is that people that do the wrong thing always feel justified in doing it because they assume everyone else is as bad as them. Thus, if you stop them from doing wrong they think you have cheated them because they believe you already got yours and then stopped them from doing the same.

Exactly.

 

[ruger1800]

Godly men leave their inheritance to their grandchildren

 

[rkwhyte2]

Godly men leave their inheritance to their grandchildren

QFT

 

[longbow]

QFT

Very true, grandkids all got low five figures. They can put it to good use.