Conceal Carry Argument with Girlfriend

[gjclark]

For the most part my girlfriend has been incredibly supportive of me getting my gun and LTCH and she even mentioned that it was attractive that I was taking the protection of myself and future family seriously but tonight we had a small blow up (not ammo ) I was showing her my Glock for the first time and she was holding it and asked where the safety was... Well dear there are three passive safeties and then I showed them to her. Then somehow we got to carrying one in the chamber (I think I mentioned this because of the drop safety) and she just got really upset and said she is totally uncomfortable with the idea of that and there is no reason to do that. I tried to explain that I might not always have two hands to chamber a round. If I have to fight a guy off what am I going to do? Throw my gun at him? She then got teary and said she just wished there was a more safety then just pulling the trigger and it going boom. She said I'm a human And humans make mistakes and have accidents and she thinks the likelihood of me hurting myself by chambering one is higher than me being victimized... Any advice?

 

[ATM]

Your reasoning is more rational than hers. She'll get over it.

 

[SteveM4A1]

Switch to a gun with a manual safety?

 

[GLOCKMAN23C]

This may or may not help. When my wife and I first got together, she was uncomfortable around my guns, I told her before we went out the first time that if she had an issue we wouldn't even bother going out. I explained the basic safety rules, and added one. I held up my trigger finger and said this is my safety. Over time, she got used to it, from the point of asking me to move a gun, to moving it for me. Give her some time to get used to it, and carry on.

 

[gjclark]

I asked her if she would be fine with one in the chamber if I had a manual safety. She said yes... I told her that I honestly didn't trust myself to remember to take it off in the heat of the moment under stress.

 

[EAS]

Take her to the range and show her how the safeties work. Let her shoot it. You are more likely to win her over if you teach her hands on.

 

[gjclark]

Give her some time to get used to it

I think this will probably be the best method...

 

[Vamptepes]

I have a gun with a manual safety and i don't use it when i'm carrying the gun. One less thing i have to remember to do if something happened. I know plenty of people who complain because i carry my gun chambered. And i always tell them if it comes to it i'm not wasting my time racking the slide. What's the point in carrying a gun more or less unloaded. If someone came after you, you might not have the time to chamber your round. Keep one in the pipe at all times she'll get used to it. I bought my fiance a 9mm and she leaves it loaded at all times also. I think a lot of it has to do if you were raised around guns and/or your thoughts on protecting your life and the lives of others.

 

[Libertarian01]

To gjclark,

There is a lot here that is purely emotional. Logic does not always apply to a discussion. There are positives and negatives on both sides of the fence. It is only our perception that skews the balance one way or the other.

I say this because to my knowledge there have been zero (0) studies done showing the good or bad of carrying one in the chamber. There will only be anectdotal stories that while they cannot be totally ignored neither are they a sign of anything resembling the "truth."

What you need to ask yourself is: is there some really, really reasonable foundation for your carrying a Glock over another pistol that has an active safety switch? I am going to guess that while you have your reason(s) they are not prohibitive to carrying another model that may make you happy (you are armed and defended) while also making her happy (she gets to see a safety.) Her desire for a safety is not entirely unreasonable. You have shown her Glocks safety features but we are talking comfort.

Some battles are we fight to win, others simply to not loose. She does not sound like she has been at all unreasonable up until this point, and she is not being 100% unreasonable regarding the desire for an active safety. That isn't a bad thing. Even though Glock has many passive safety's I would say that if it is really important to her let her be wrong and do it her way anyway. She isn't asking you to disarm. Probably given enough time and familiarity with firearms knowledge she will change her position and grow comfortable with the Glock.

I have carried a semiauto without one in the chamber. While there might maybe somehow be a one in a million chance that I don't have time to chamber a round, I am not going to worry about that longshot freak statistic. I have also carried with one in the chamber. For me it depended upon the pistol at the time.

In the end regarding such a thing no one is 100% right or wrong. It is all a matter of personal opinion or comfort level.

Do not forget, if this is the worst argument you have had in a while - you and she are dong just fine.

Regards,

Doug

 

[Dead Duck]

Never argue will your girlfriend during Green Week.

 

[churchmouse]

For the most part my girlfriend has been incredibly supportive of me getting my gun and LTCH and she even mentioned that it was attractive that I was taking the protection of myself and future family seriously but tonight we had a small blow up (not ammo ) I was showing her my Glock for the first time and she was holding it and asked where the safety was... Well dear there are three passive safeties and then I showed them to her. Then somehow we got to carrying one in the chamber (I think I mentioned this because of the drop safety) and she just got really upset and said she is totally uncomfortable with the idea of that and there is no reason to do that. I tried to explain that I might not always have two hands to chamber a round. If I have to fight a guy off what am I going to do? Throw my gun at him? She then got teary and said she just wished there was a more safety then just pulling the trigger and it going boom. She said I'm a human And humans make mistakes and have accidents and she thinks the likelihood of me hurting myself by chambering one is higher than me being victimized... Any advice?

Get a 1911......end of conflict.....

 

[dmarsh8]

Sorry, but if it's your gun that you are carrying, it really doesn't matter what she likes or doesn't like.
Get her familiar with the gun unloaded, AND shooting it.
Great she is concerned about you, but your competence must overshadow her emotions.
Also, if you aren't carrying in the chamber just leave it in the safe.
https://www.indianagunowners.com/fo...begging*-you-stop-carrying-empty-chamber.html

 

[printcraft]

Get a 1911......end of conflict.....

Yeah, remember to carry it cocked and locked.............. her brain will melt when she sees it.

 

[Twangbanger]

When you say "future family," do you mean there's one on the way? Congratulations if so. Just wondered, when you said "teary"...that can be an emotional time.

I'd point out that it's carried by bazillions of police officers, who are entrusted with their own safety and that of everyone around them. If that doesn't fly, perhaps you can consider finding a suitable gun with a nice, stiff safety as a "companion" to your Glock, train with it, and carry it for a time, allowing the Glock to be an "understudy" until it can move into the lead position (***Note: I'm specifically giving you permission to buy another gun here ***). Go to the range with "his and hers" guns, letting the Glock be "hers" of course, let her beat you a couple times, etc. (um...shooting, I mean).

I predict good things for your future. Just takes time.

 

[churchmouse]

I asked her if she would be fine with one in the chamber if I had a manual safety. She said yes... I told her that I honestly didn't trust myself to remember to take it off in the heat of the moment under stress.

If you own a gun, practice with it. Dry fire exercises are a must if range time is not an option. Many a competitor does thousands of dry fires on their comp. guns. Muscle memory is the key here. Empty gun. Check to verify empty. Check again. Did I mention verifying the gun is empty... Start a routine that involves removing the pistol from holster, bringing to the ready and releasing the safety (that you do not have yet) acquiring the target and so on. Do this until it becomes second nature. Do this out of eye site from those who would be made nervous by it.
Practice/practice/practice. Just owning the darn thing is not the total package. It is a tool to be properly used not a talisman.

 

[churchmouse]

Yeah, remember to carry it cocked and locked.............. her brain will melt when she sees it.

Yeah, good point.

My wife and her entire family were total anti's when I met her. Her father would allow no guns around at all. He passed some years back rest his soul. In the years since I have managed to turn all of them around. The state of society right now has helped a bit.
Patience. More patience....and a 1911. Loose the Glock. She is right, I hate the passive safety's. JMHO od course.

 

[pack-indy]

Better yet, take a class together. The pressure will be off you to explain things and you both benefit. It's for the children.

 

[X piller X]

Sounds like my mother. Always seeing the negatives. She can come up with a million ways a bg will disarm or kill me before i can protect myself rather than seeing that at least while carrying, i have a chance.

 

[voodoo304]

How about just keeping your mouth shut? It's either on your person or in the safe...LOADED. No one needs to know it or see anything.

 

[gjclark]

That's a good point voodoo... We were just kind of talking about it because she has been interested and I was explaining the safeties and it came up. She said she knew I was going to do what I want anyway she just doesn't want to know about it.

Thanks too for the sentiment but no kid on the way. She and I are pretty seriously dating though. Been friends for years and dating for 8 months. She graduates in May.