Ran across this and thought the deer hunters would enjoy it.
For those of you who hunt deer, want to pet deer, or anything in
between,
this is too funny! Names have been removed to protect the stupid!
This is an actual letter from someone who writes, and farms.
"I had the idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed
it
up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured tha t,
since
they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of
me
when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at
the
bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it
should
not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head
(to
calm it down) then hog tie it and tr ansport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder, then hid down at the end with my rope.
The
cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were
not
having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a
likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my
rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a
good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
tell it
was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension
on
the rope and then received an education.
The first thing that I learned is:
While a deer may just stand there & look at you funny while you rope it;
they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That
deer
EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is:
Pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a
cow or a colt. A cow or
a
colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some
dignity. A deer -- no chance.
That thing ran, bucked, twisted, and pulled. There was no controlling it
and
certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and
started
dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a
rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.
The third thing I learned is: (the only upside)
They do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk
me
off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
minutes
to realize this, since the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head
mostly blinded me. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed
venison.
I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I
figured
that if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would
likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love
at
all between that deer and me. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I
would
venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly
arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large
rocks
as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough
to
recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount
of
responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer
to
have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to ge t it lined back up in
between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before
hand...kind
of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving
up
so I could get my
rope back.
The fourth thing I learned:
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
have
thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I
reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my
wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where
they
just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --
almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to
do
when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I
tried
screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like
the
deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only
several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim
by
now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my
right
arm, I reached up with
my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my fifth lesson in deer behavior for the day:
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They raise right up on
their
back feet, strike right about head, and shoulder level, and their hooves
are
surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal --
like a
horse -- strikes at you with their hooves and you cannot get away
easily,
the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive
move
towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so
you
can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would
not
work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I
screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always
been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is
that
there is a good chance
that it will hit you in the back of the head.
Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice
as
strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit
me
right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Lesson six:
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
immediately
leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What
they
do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are
laying
there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally
managed to
crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
scope -- so that they can be somewhat equal to the prey.
:do2:
For those of you who hunt deer, want to pet deer, or anything in
between,
this is too funny! Names have been removed to protect the stupid!
This is an actual letter from someone who writes, and farms.
"I had the idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed
it
up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured tha t,
since
they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of
me
when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at
the
bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it
should
not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head
(to
calm it down) then hog tie it and tr ansport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder, then hid down at the end with my rope.
The
cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were
not
having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a
likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my
rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a
good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
tell it
was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension
on
the rope and then received an education.
The first thing that I learned is:
While a deer may just stand there & look at you funny while you rope it;
they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That
deer
EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is:
Pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a
cow or a colt. A cow or
a
colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some
dignity. A deer -- no chance.
That thing ran, bucked, twisted, and pulled. There was no controlling it
and
certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and
started
dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a
rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.
The third thing I learned is: (the only upside)
They do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk
me
off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
minutes
to realize this, since the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head
mostly blinded me. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed
venison.
I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I
figured
that if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would
likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love
at
all between that deer and me. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I
would
venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly
arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large
rocks
as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough
to
recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount
of
responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer
to
have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to ge t it lined back up in
between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before
hand...kind
of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving
up
so I could get my
rope back.
The fourth thing I learned:
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
have
thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I
reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my
wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where
they
just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --
almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to
do
when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I
tried
screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like
the
deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only
several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim
by
now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my
right
arm, I reached up with
my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my fifth lesson in deer behavior for the day:
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They raise right up on
their
back feet, strike right about head, and shoulder level, and their hooves
are
surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal --
like a
horse -- strikes at you with their hooves and you cannot get away
easily,
the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive
move
towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so
you
can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would
not
work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I
screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always
been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is
that
there is a good chance
that it will hit you in the back of the head.
Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice
as
strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit
me
right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Lesson six:
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
immediately
leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What
they
do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are
laying
there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally
managed to
crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
scope -- so that they can be somewhat equal to the prey.
:do2:
opcorn2:
