First OC Incident Story

[Kev]

Hi Everyone!
I am sharing my story on my first Open Carry.. and really any carry incident.

This happened yesterday on the west side of South Bend. My grandmother lives there, and has a garden that has seen the end of the season. So my wife, kids, and I went over to pull out the plants, stakes, etc. For those of you that know this part of town, you know it can be a little sketchy at times. So I decided to open carry my Bersa Thunder .380

I had pulled my truck right up to the garden, which is in the back of the house, next to an open field. While I was working, my wife was cutting the grass and the kids were playing football.
During this time, I noticed a man walking on the other side of the field. No biggie, people walk around all the time. But he was coming in my direction.

I continued to work, but kept my eye on him.. as he continued coming directly towards me. Now at this point, I committed that he was coming to me. And I immediately took in my surroundings and sized him up a bit. I figured "great.. out with my family, carrying a gun, and I actually might need to use it.. "

The man did come up to the area, and I heard my wife call my name. She had just noticed, and wanted my attention. However I did not look back, I kept eyes on him and started to walk toward him... Keeping him on the opposite side of my truck.. and my family.

I greeted him with a "Hi, how ya doing".. staying on my side of the truck. His response was "well do ya want the truth or you want me to lie to ya?"...

Immediately my bells went off.. i thought.. Either he has a complaint on what I am doing or looking for trouble.. So I replied "well, I want the truth".

He then started in on how his kids have not eaten and need medicine.. and then stopped mid-sentence with wide eyes. He just noticed the gun.
He said "oh.. wow.. you have a gun".. staring at it. I said nothing at first.. I was still racing in my mind everything around me.

He then surprised me a bit holding out his hand and giving his name. I shook his hand, gave my name in return, and I asked what he wanted.

He did go back into the kids needing food/medicine bit, but this time emphasied that he was looking for work. He wanted to know if I had any work that I could give him to help out.

Now.. was this his plan all along? Or did he change his tune once he saw what I had on the hip? I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.. and I did respect that he was willing to work.. not just flat out ask for a hand-out.

I mentioned that I did not have any cash on me, but that I respected his willingness to work for something. And with that, against the wish of my wife, I did give him a couple rows of plants to work on.
He was thankful and he did work. Sure he was a little slower than I was.. and I could tell he was out of shape by his sweating/breathing.. but he was working.

Now during the time of his work.. I never put my back to him. I never got in close proximity to him.. and kept him at a distance from my family. I stress this because I made a cognitive effort to do so. I sure did not trust him.. but something in me still respected his willingness to work.

After the work was complete, I gave him a bag of leftover veggies that were just going to be thrown away.. and $20. (I sent my wife to the ATM, while I stayed there working/watching him)
He thanked me and I re-iterated that I was helping him because of his willingness to work. I was hoping to drive that point home. He then went on his way.


So that is it... sure.. now it seems like no big deal.. but that encounter could have gone wrong in so many ways. My wife was uncomfortable the whole time and did not approve of me letting him help.

What would you have done? Do you agree with me trying to help, or did I put too much at risk?

 

[Titanium_Frost]

There has to be a balance between compassion and "tactical" in every situation.

I think you found it.

 

[the1kidd03]

Ya know, I can't fault you for wanting to help out a fellow human. I feel the same way when people are truely in need. In those instances I too try to help. I also help people who wish to learn how to protect themselves in any way I can.

The issue here that I PERSONALLY have, is that I'm not as willing to take someone's word for it in terms of them being in need. So, I probably would have agreed with your wife given these circumstances. That however, makes you and your decision/action no less commendable.

Good job sir.

 

[Indy_Guy_77]

There has to be a balance between compassion and "tactical" in every situation.

I think you found it.

This post, and the one above it, are probably two of the best posts on INGO - ever.

-J-

 

[threefiftyfour]

I would have shot him and used him for fertilizer for the garden. Wait, where is the purple?

 

[iChokePeople]

... my wife was cutting the grass ...

You're doing it right. Rep. Also acceptable for her to be making sammiches or serving cold beverages.

 

[the1kidd03]

You're doing it right. Rep. Also acceptable for her to be making sammiches or serving cold beverages.

I was thinking in the beginning....get those little ones out there and get them dirty too

 

[Indy_Guy_77]

You're doing it right. Rep. Also acceptable for her to be making sammiches or serving cold beverages.

A few weeks ago - my wife mowed our yard.... She's pregnant. (was then, too)

 

[iChokePeople]

A few weeks ago - my wife mowed our yard.... She's pregnant. (was then, too)

I dropped by jeremy's place a couple of weeks ago and snapped a pic of jeremy's girlfriend mowing his yard:

 

[88GT]

Ya know, I can't fault you for wanting to help out a fellow human. I feel the same way when people are truely in need. In those instances I too try to help. I also help people who wish to learn how to protect themselves in any way I can.

The issue here that I PERSONALLY have, is that I'm not as willing to take someone's word for it in terms of them being in need. So, I probably would have agreed with your wife given these circumstances. That however, makes you and your decision/action no less commendable.

Good job sir.

I hear ya, but I have to remind myself it's not my responsibility to pass that judgment in the absolute. IOW, if I feel called to help, I have to assume it's the right decision and let whatever plays out, play out according the Plan. We never know what piece of the puzzle is going to be a critical one in hindsight.

OP, I'm outta rep, but when I recharge, you're getting some.

I was thinking in the beginning....get those little ones out there and get them dirty too

I had to laugh. I practically have to throw my 3 and 6 year olds out of the garden when I'm trying to get work done. "Mommy, what's this?" "MOM! COME LOOK AT THIS COOL BUG!"

 

[the1kidd03]

I hear ya, but I have to remind myself it's not my responsibility to pass that judgment in the absolute. IOW, if I feel called to help, I have to assume it's the right decision and let whatever plays out, play out according the Plan. We never know what piece of the puzzle is going to be a critical one in hindsight.

OP, I'm outta rep, but when I recharge, you're getting some.



I had to laugh. I practically have to throw my 3 and 6 year olds out of the garden when I'm trying to get work done. "Mommy, what's this?" "MOM! COME LOOK AT THIS COOL BUG!"

LMAO

 

[daddymikey1975]

IMO I have no problems helping those that are willing to help themselves. You were aware and cautious while still being respectful. I most likeley, would have reacted similarly.

It's difficult to determine what someone's motives are at any given time until they present them. Mayby he had no ill intentions and was just startled/surprised to see your sidearm.

Trying to give everyone the benefit of the doubt in any encounter is hard to do and it seems as if that's what you did even though your SA was a bit heightened. Some of this may have been due to a bad part of town. I can recall a time recently when I was in Columbus for some training. While I was there, my gun was in the trunk, unloaded, separate from the ammo. I was in a bad part of town picking up some things to bring back to Indiana. I felt similarly at that time.

my two cents.

 

[kiddchaos]

I think you did fine. I used to have a Bersa, it's a good gun.
Sometimes it hard to keep people at a distance.

 

[trapperDave]

rep out to the OP. Ya done good!

 

[Kev]

Thank you everyone for the support, rep, and replies. I am happy to hear people with similar standings.. yet I totally understand the potential risk.

I told my wife the state of IN is currently at 50/50 right now on if I acted too risky or not.

Oh.. and I think she has planned for cutting the grass at our place today.. She's a good wife.

 

[Bisbobble]

Hi Everyone!
...
So that is it... sure.. now it seems like no big deal.. but that encounter could have gone wrong in so many ways. My wife was uncomfortable the whole time and did not approve of me letting him help.

What would you have done? Do you agree with me trying to help, or did I put too much at risk?

Well done.

Your wife was right to be uncomfortable, you basically hired him without any background information or ID, but I still think it was the right thing to do. For future reference, I would have have gotten a little info from him but I would have tried to help somehow as well.

 

[daddymikey1975]

I told my wife the state of IN is currently at 50/50 right now on if I acted too risky or not.

How so ?

 

[Kev]

How so ?

Averaged out the replies thus far into "yes I think I would have done the same" vs. "I would have not.. "

She was just curious what other people thought on the situation once I mentioned I posted about it.

 

[Mark 1911]

There are a lot of people in need these days. Good on you for being willing to listen to someone asking for help while the red flags and alarms at the same time could not be ignored. It's easy to get calloused to other's situations, nice to hear that you were willing to help.

 

[femurphy77]

Hmph! No Jackboots! No proning out! No 5 year old girls!


I might as well go back to work.