Help, looks like I might be moving to California

[Sgtusmc]

My partner of the opposite sex has dropped the bomb that she wants us (and our 2 kids) to move to San Diego in probably 3 three years. I was speechless except for the look on my face and over-all disdain for the state. That much she understands. Yes, she wears the pants in family with her paycheck as a DR in Psychology. I tried to avoid focusing on the obvious in the "discussion" about their views on gun ownership. She said, "They allow guns in California." I told her, that what I have is illegal in that state (AR, no bullet button, 30 round mags, handgun with 17 round mags.) She said that our kids would go to college for free there and would grow up happier in nicer weather with a beach near by. I told her, gang related crime is always on the rise there. We both clammed up about it all since we were on our anniversary dinner date knowing it was going to turn into a battle.

Anyway, I looked up the gun laws in San Diego and noticed that in order to be considered for a concealed license for the self protection category, one has to provide documented threats to show a need for protection. I about crapped myself in anger and went to bed for a few hours to sleep it off. Sure, one can own a 7-8 round handgun for home defense once it's registered 60 days prior to moving in state. And one can purchase a handgun there if they fill out the documents, take a test, be subjected to an interview, and wait another 10 days to pick it up.

I know, I know, California has been the hot topic for some time, but now it's me that will probably be subjected to the Naziism. Not sure what I can do without it tearing my family apart.

EDIT: She got the picture and CA is off the list, HOORAY! Now she's looking at Florida or Hawaii. I've lived in Hawaii, taken the family on vacation there, but know their gun laws are almost as bad. I hate Florida's landscape, but it's do-able. Even though I'll have to contend with hurricanes and Florida going under water, I'll compromise I guess.

 

[Rhoadmar]

The gun rights problem goes without saying but how can anyone think a state that is fiscally insolvent as CA is a good place to live and raise kids?

 

[SkinNFluff]

I am truly sorry that I have no advice for you. I am also sorry for the situation you are in with this.

 

[indyjohn]

Oh Yikes! I don't have a tool in my bag for this one. My sister has lived in Kali for years, San Diego for a long time and currently in San Fran. She is a flaming Left Wing Liberal and doesn't believe half that state will eventually slide off into the Pacific ocean.

I am truly sorry.

 

[rockhopper46038]

There's nothing "free" about Kalifornia. Trust me, you'll pay more than enough extra taxes and living expenses living in that cesspool than two good college educations would cost you in one of the Free states. Frankly, I wouldn't do it. Being the "breadwinner" doesn't mean you get to dictate the living arrangements.

But who knows; in 3 years Kalifornia may have imploded to the point that no sane person would still want to move there. On the other hand, unless there is some as yet unrevealed agenda about Kalifornia and specifically San Diego, why don't you guys talk about a compromise like Texas or the Gulf Coast (which is relatively gun friendly, but has the beaches and reasonably priced good schools), or Michigan (which has it's own issues, but is better than Kalifornia), or maybe even Washington (the State), anywhere outside of the Seattle area...

And if you were venting, not really looking for suggestions, just ignore everything I wrote. it's your family; do what you have to do.

 

[Bradsknives]

Three years is a long time and a lot of things can change that would/might keep her from wanting to move California...I wouldn't panic just yet.

 

[Mosinguy]

Yikes. Bad situation. Can't say California will be better for them, especially not San Diego. Nevermind the gang violence and oppressive laws, think about how everyone else's kids will eventually rub off onto yours. Haven't met anyone from So.Cal. that wasn't an entitled elitist.

Now on the other hand, I'd love to live in the northern part of the state if it ever becomes independent from the bottom half and becomes a haven for freedom.

 

[Cameramonkey]

Hopefully she has enough love and respect for you to honor your wishes not to move to a liberal anti gun hellhole. IMHO if she pushes you against your will she doesnt really love and respect you. I dont care what your motivation is... but a constitutionally based one is pretty solid I think as opposed to "Do we have to move to florida? I really dont like sand you know?".

Good luck my friend.

 

[Que]

Three years is a long time and a lot of things can change that would/might keep her from wanting to move California...I wouldn't panic just yet.

This!

 

[dmarsh8]

There are 49 other states. Pick one. Remember, initially and naturally she is thinking
emotionally and not logically. That's not always bad but it can be.
So, really show you want to consider the option but get honest
and maybe even some cold hard facts about your concerns also. Your concerns will be in the best interest
of your children's future also. Sounds like you have some time to get it worked out.
P.S. making more money doesn't qualify one to "wear the pants". That's just a great achievement one
has obtained, yet it should not be confused with major decision making ability or authority.

 

[ultra...good]

My sincere condolences, I truly feel so bad for you. Hopefully something does change within the next 3 years that helps her to change her mind yet keeps the two of you and the family happy.

Outside of the political climate and the majority of the people in Cali, it is a beautiful place. The ocean, the mountains, desert, forest, snow ski and water ski in the same day. I really like the place it is just a shame of how it is run.

Anyways, is it or will it be possible to have a second home in Arizona? Not very far from San Diego, and with all that money you will be saving on college tuition, maybe you could have a nice second home up in the mountains of AZ?? Until then you could always find a safe place to legally store your firearms. Just a thought.

Good luck to you.

 

[KLB]

I hope she would get a huge raise to offset the cost of living difference.

 

[427TriPowered]

calguns is the best resource for weapon info...

i have spent the past 12 years working in california... approx 9 months total per year... the only good thing about socal is the weather...

i would rather raise my family in detroit than san diego... its that bad...

you will never get a concealed carry license in san diego county... and its a felony to possess off register firearms including empty old magazines that hold more than 10 rounds...

but besides all that... the crime is crazy... i could spend a day telling you about all the crazy ch1t i see out there...

 

[churchmouse]

Three years is a long time and a lot of things can change that would/might keep her from wanting to move California...I wouldn't panic just yet.

Yes..three years is a long time but remember....No one person holds the "Pants" in the family just because they make more than the other. That is pure crap. Family/marriage is a partnership. If it is not then it can easily fail. If I looked at my wife and stated we were moving or will be in a given time I doubt (as you are) she would agree with this one sided decision. To use a position based on income to push all others involved into something that will uproot them in this way is mis-guided at best. To "Announce" it on an anniversary is not the best way to break the ice. If I am wrong in my assumptions as to how this was presented I stand corrected and will step off.

My wife made 2 times my income for better than 15 years. She never held sway over me as we discussed everything we did as partners. If she had an idea that was not something I was comfortable with we arrived at compromise or went in another direction entirely. Her position was lost to company relocating. I made the lions share of the income and still do. Nothing changed. Still partners. My point it these are decisions made by both party's for the benefit of all involved. If pushed this could end poorly.
Wish you the patience you will need to sway her from this in the 3 years you have left..........

 

[MCgrease08]

I'm stuck on the timing. Where does the three years number come from? It seems pretty specific. It doesn't sound like a new job. So why the deadline?

If this is some type of countdown or ultimatum from her, then you've got to start there.

 

[Gluemanz28]

You beat me to it MCgrease08. I was curious what the three years number meant as this could change my opinion.

 

[CTS]

I took a temporary assignment that required me to move to SoCal for about 4 months (family stayed here) and that was more than enough for me. The cost of living differences are huge, your housing expense alone will easily
surpass any tuition benefits. That and a lot of those "benefits" will probably be disappearing soon. If you want weather and beaches, Florida is a much better option.

 

[sepe]

I spent about 90 minutes at LAX and that was more than enough for me. What I saw flying over looked decent enough but a fly over is as close as I'd want to be again.

 

[Caleb]

My wife knows that I will not move to any states that has restricted gun laws...hell over high waters after the polar caps melts off!

 

[bingley]

May I humbly offer a bit of advice: never confuse big politics with your personal life. I'm not necessarily saying you are doing that, but certainly I've moved to places where I thought there would be "my kind of people," only to discover I didn't like them. You might find some very good friends a bit outside of San Diego. California has a pretty heavy split between liberal city centers and conservative countryside. There could be a good life waiting for you in California. But most importantly, you have your family. That should be your highest priority, and I'm glad you recognize that.

Check on calguns.net for information. Some areas have pretty good shooting (often the skeet/trap type). Louis Awerbuck teaches in California regularly. I wouldn't worry about crime -- that often depends on the neighborhood, and if your wife is a doctor, you guys can probably find a safe area. Crime also depends on individual luck. I've faced more of it in supposedly "safe" small town Indiana than in the big nasty city of New York.

With that said, I'm not a big fan of San Diego or LA. Some of the surrounding towns are nice. I do love the Bay Area, though.