Help, my wife is scared to shoot.

[andski3]

Ok so first off some background.
My wife is totally Pro2A. I have many guns in the house and she encourages me to teach my daughter. My wife however was raised in a "guns are bad" household, so the thought of handling one scares her.

Now my concern,

We live in a good neighborhood, but I do tend to travel for work. I would like it if she would learn how to use one if something were to happen. I can't expect my 9yr old to do it. (Though I totally think she would if I would let her, which I won't.) I have setup cameras on my house just so if the dogs are barking or if they hear a noise they can check without going outside. They also send me a text with pic if the Motion detection is tripped. So they have measures of protection, but it does not make me feel comfortable if a BG really wanted to get inside.

My question,
Is there a good method/familiarization to work her towards being comfortable handling a pistol?

 

[Tactical Dave]

My mom and wife used to be anti shooting, now both do...

Start with just getting her to be comfortable just having a pistol next to her then just holding a pistol.... Then dry fire Then have her shoot something in the small caliber department...

Mom shot a .380 then shot my 9 and it scared her to death but then got comfortable with the 9.

Baby steps man... Took like 2 years for my wife... She now wants her LTCH also.

 

[nb1980]

My son and I both own guns and enjoy them. My ex-wife was interested in them but scared at same time. So we are working her up to them. She looked at a small .22 pocket pistol and felt comfortable with it. My thoughts were something is better than nothing. She is still scared of the bigger caliber pistols (.40 s&w mine) but maybe work her up to them eventually.

 

[andski3]

Thanks Tactical Dave.
I do have a Ruger sr22 waiting for that special day!

 

[lrhochgesang]

My mom and wife used to be anti shooting, now both do...

Start with just getting her to be comfortable just having a pistol next to her then just holding a pistol.... Then dry fire Then have her shoot something in the small caliber department...

Mom shot a .380 then shot my 9 and it scared her to death but then got comfortable with the 9.

Baby steps man... Took like 2 years for my wife... She now wants her LTCH also.

i agree with this. im not married, but my girlfriend is somewhat weary of pistols. my suggestion is just get her comfortable being around it. Once unloaded and all ammo secured, let her hold it and play with it. then take her to a range and just let her listen to it and see it. even let her shoot it if she feels comfortable enough. but dont force the matter too quickly.

Maybe even look into taking a class for just for the 2 of you. i know Tactical Firearms Training, LLC located in indy(they operate Eagle Creek Pistol Range) has classes that are for basic pistols, self-defense, etc. they also have couple discounts. might be something for the two of you. Good luck!

 

[Rayne]

Flat out ask her what scares her about shooting a gun.

Would it help if she had a female instructor?

Would she feel more comfortable at a private range, instead of a public range and being intimidated by all the men there?

Do you have a pistol that you can let her just sit on the couch and hold in the evening while watching TV? Of course make sure it is unloaded and there is no ammo in the room. Or let her practice dry firing too.

Would it help if you started her out with a rifle, like a ruger 10/22? Rifle sometime don't seem as scarey, because they are bigger and you can control the muzzle easier. Or at least it seems that way to someone uncomfortable with guns.

One thing for sure is to make sure she had adequate hearing protection. The worse thing you can do with a new shooter is have them jump from the report.

Let me know if she would like some help from a fellow lady shooter.

 

[John317]

I suggest we get our wives together to go to the range and see if that helps.. maybe time it when we think the range won't be super busy so they won't be nervous about people watching..... my wife is the same scared to do it but yet semi interested.... I blame the schools she grew up in and works in always teaching that "gun" is a bad word... I also think that it might be good to start her off with a 22 and work her way up to a 9 or anything larger...

 

[VikingWarlord]

My girlfriend was born and raised in Chicago. Her dad is a Vietnam vet who was seriously injured and had a distaste for firearms due to his experiences in country.

She's not anti-2A, she recognizes that increasing legislation is pointless but, despite having some hunters in the extended family and a brother who enjoys target shooting, she's never been comfortable with the idea of having guns around.

I purchased my first pistol while we were together and she got a little freaked out about that. I explained the rules of safe handling, then field stripped it so she could see how it all works. Being that she's an academic (will be graduating with a Ph.D in about a month), I asked and she confirmed that she'd be more comfortable with formal training from a qualified instructor. We were originally supposed to do it back at Labor Day but things went sideways and so we've rescheduled for the NRA Basic Pistol course on April 21st at Indy Gun Safety in Fishers. I don't expect her to fall in love with shooting but I do expect that she'll at least be confident and competent.

The important part is that you can't force it. If she's more comfortable getting formal training, do that and don't take it personally.

 

[guncakes]

There is a good sticky about this at the top of the forum :
https://www.indianagunowners.com/forums/women_and_firearms/12060-my_wife_is_afraid_of_guns.html

Have you let her shoot a BB gun yet? That would be a good baby step.

 

[ruger333]

I have a similar situation. There were several break ins within a three mile radius of my home. My wife is at home alone most days and we live on a dead end road with the closest house being over a quarter mile away. She asked me to teach her to shoot just in case . I had a few different shot guns and I 10/22 but no hand guns. I bought a Walther p22 and a Ruger sr9c . Figured a 22 would be a good place to start. We both got our LTCH. I have tried to get her to shoot it but she keeps telling me she will when it warms up a little. She is very reluctant now that we have them. You can lead a horse to water. If I can't get her to drink at least I have been having a ball with them.

 

[Thegeek]

BB guns are a good way to start too. Cheap and the mechanics are the same. Then just build up to something bigger. Baby steps.

Link it all together. BB gun uses mechanically compressed air. .22 uses chemically compressed air. .38 special more chemically compressed air.... and so on.

 

[cbseniour]

Only sone solution for your problem. Keep shooting, keep talking positively and give it time. My wife of 37 years used to want nothing to do with shooting, now we go to the range together about 2 times a month and she belongs to " Well Armed Woman"

 

[jgreiner]

Ok so first off some background.
My wife is totally Pro2A. I have many guns in the house and she encourages me to teach my daughter. My wife however was raised in a "guns are bad" household, so the thought of handling one scares her.

Now my concern,

We live in a good neighborhood, but I do tend to travel for work. I would like it if she would learn how to use one if something were to happen. I can't expect my 9yr old to do it. (Though I totally think she would if I would let her, which I won't.) I have setup cameras on my house just so if the dogs are barking or if they hear a noise they can check without going outside. They also send me a text with pic if the Motion detection is tripped. So they have measures of protection, but it does not make me feel comfortable if a BG really wanted to get inside.

My question,
Is there a good method/familiarization to work her towards being comfortable handling a pistol?

Start out with a nice little .22. Then move up to a NICE medium sized revolver with .38 special regular loads. Have her shoot a lot. Pretty soon, the recoil will be 2nd nature. then move her to 9mm semi's and .357 mag rounds. By then, she might like the booms.

Oh...and get some good electronic hearing protection...so she can hear what you say, but it blocks out the explosions.

 

[Jeepcrazed]

Maybe a few good hard questions would help.

Something like..."If someone broke into the house, some night when I'm on the road traveling, with intent to do you and our daughter harm...what would you do? Would you want to have the means to protect her in the house...but fail because you don't know how to use it? What scares you more?"

Now, I'm not saying that this is the answer. Different women are motivated by different things, but I know that when it comes to my kid, no one is going to lay a hand on him without having to get through me first. period.

While it is true that women may not generally be as physically strong as men. That does not, however, mean that they are weak. She has the ability to empower herself. Let her understand that.

 

[DFM914]

I just went shooting with my wife a couple of weeks ago, been many years and she loved it and is quite the dead eye.

 

[45fan]

My wife grew up with a dad show wasnt really a hunter, but did believe in guns for self defense. To her, guns were something that dad kept in his room, and the girls didnt touch them. She found out not too long ago that her dad actually carried it with him nearly everywhere, and still does to this day.

What got her started into the world of guns was paintball. we progressed to a shotgun, out of necessity for some sort of viable home defense in the event I was on deployment, as she would be the only thing standing between our son and harm.

The two things that got her hooked on handguns was a semi-auto .22, and a 1911. The 22 was a stepping stone, but the big .45 evidently spoke to her, and she listened.

Let her try as many options as you can, and I promise you, if she finds one that speaks to her, you will know.

 

[brotherbill3]

My daughter (28, been dad for 14 of those yrs) just went shooting first time yesterday. Started her out w/ a marlin .22 LR; A buddy brought a .22 short 'gallery gun' (Like 100 + yrs old state fair) ... then she shot a small .22 pistol. Then the 1911 .45 ... then Glocks 19 and 26 and an XD-40Sc and finally a .357 revolver w/ light loads.

Winner winner chicken dinner was teh XD-40 ... but this was day 1 - she's still looking and learning. Point being give them something easy and light and work your way up ...

My daughter was (5 yrs ago) a primary candidate for MDA4GS ... it took quite a bit of patience and explaining - and now she's applied for the LTCH and about to start carrying.

Good Luck. You can do it; but patience is helpful. Let her reach the conclusions - you just provide information and opportunity to learn.

 

[RobbyMaQ]

My wife and I began shooting periodically 4-5 years ago. a simple revolver for self defense in the home.
Last year I got heavily into pistols, and she's slowly grown accustomed to it. I picked up a .22 m&p, and she shoot often with it now. And near the end of each day, she'll shoot the 9mm. I think with her, it's the manipulations that she's afraid of... the 22 is easier to rack, and has gotten her familiar with manipulating the firearm. So she knows that when she picks up the m&p9, it's going to be the same... only more spring.
So little by little, shes grown accustomed to it without being thrown in full tilt.
So much so, that she's signed up for an appleseed event in a couple weeks. That one was the first to take me by surprise! Currently she's wanting to practice manipulating the rifle now... so she'll be all ready for appleseed.

 

[Nim]

My wife was offended that I bought her a gunwithout consulting her. Mainly did it because she would probably not have allowed it to begin with.

Got a Rossi .357 revolver for her/the house. I already have a 9mm S&W, Model 909.

 

[Regionnus Rattis]

I started my wife on a Ruger SR22, mainly because of low noise, recoil and the ease of racking the slide. It was a good way to let her dry fire in DA and SA trigger mode. It built confidence in taking the initial shot with follow-up shots and feeling the difference in trigger sensitivity. But after shooting targets at 7 yards, she likes the DAO triggers on my LCP and Nano. I adjusted the spring tension on my Kel-Tec P11 so it is a really easy trigger pull too. She's learned to hold with a firm grip so any "snappiness" isn't a problem. She got over that by practicing with me shouting and yelling at her loud so it raised her adrenaline and endorphins. Now she prefers to shoot the Nano because of no need to worry about any safeties or anything...just point and shoot. The heft of the slide and the recoil springs really reduce the flip of the gun and that is her carry gun and the one she will use at home. But she does like my .357 too, just because she likes the way it goes boom! I ordered the mag extensions for my Nano so it carries 8 rds in the mag now.