INGO: Joke of the day page

[spencer rifle]

So, is this the INGO "Ha Ha" Joke page or INGO "the government is doing things again" Joke page?

 

[Thor]

Is there a difference? Joke Page...on INGO...

Maybe we could start a parallel....political funny and just funny like for pictures.

 

[spencer rifle]

Run in progress.

EDIT: Offending post deleted. Mods at work.

 

[daddyusmaximus]

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students:

“Students, If you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom. Michael?”

Michael: “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”

Teacher: “That would be rude and impolite!!!

Teacher: “What about you Peter? How would you say it?”

Peter: “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”

Teacher: “That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you Little Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?”

Johnny: “I would say: ‘Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope you’ll get to meet after supper. ”

 

[ArcadiaGP]

We just figured out what kind of shampoo the Austin bomber used. Investigators said after they found his body there was Head & Shoulders all over the inside of his car.

 

[sharkey]

We just figured out what kind of shampoo the Austin bomber used. Investigators said after they found his body there was Head & Shoulders all over the inside of his car.

Christa McAuliffe reporting?

 

[Bigtanker]

Christa McAuliffe reporting?

That brings back memories from school in the 80's.

"They found her head-n-shoulders on the beach."

 

[Bill of Rights]

Blue eyes, right? One blue this way and one blue that way?

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

Blue eyes, right? One blue this way and one blue that way?

And summer teeth; summer there, summer gone

 

[EPeter213]

Why do they drink Sprite at NASA?






Because they couldn't get 7-up!

 

[sharkey]

How many astronauts can NASA fit into a VW Beetle?


12: two in the front seat, three in the back seat and seven in the ashtray.

 

[ArcadiaGP]

The program was quickly dismantled after the first ticket was sent to everyone in China.




Get it?


Get it?

 

[Alamo]

And yet they say they don't have the resources to track actual terrorists.

"In Britain everything is policed except crime." Steyn.

 

[Alamo]

Little Old Lady: Doctor, I'm feeling so lethargic lately, just don't have the same zip I used to.
Doc: Well, at your age a lot of necessary hormones are not being produced as abundantly as they once were, so sometimes we need to supplement that.
LOL: What do you suggest?
Doc: Well let's try a prescription for testosterone. It's often thought of as a male hormone, but ladies need it too, in smaller amounts. It should perk you up, but it can have some odd side effects, so I'll give you a scrip and you come back in six weeks and we'll see if we need to adjust the dosage up or down, OK?'

So the little old lady toddled off and got her prescription, and came back to see the doctor right on schedule:

Doc: So how's it going?
LOL: Well I do have more pep, it did seem to give me some more get-up-and-go, but it unfortunately I now have hair in places I never had before.
Doc: Ah yes, that's one of the side effects to be expected, perhaps we need to reduce the dosage a bit. Exactly where are you growing this unwanted hair?
LOL: On my testicles.

 

[Scout]

For my 3,000th post, my favorite joke:

Why does the new Italian Navy have glass-bottom boats?



So they can see the old Italian Navy.

Why does the the Norwegian navy have barcodes painted on their ships?




So when they return to Port they can Scandinavian.

 

[actaeon277]

 

[ArcadiaGP]

A man was sitting in traffic when a cop knocked on his window.

He rolled down the window and asked the officer: "Why is there such a traffic jam?"

Officer: "A group of terrorists kidnapped a few politicians and are blocking the road. They have threatened to burn the politicians alive in 1000 gallons of gasoline if they don't get a 5 million dollar ransom within the hour. I'm going from car to car collecting donations and would like to know if you'd please help."

Man: "Ok. How much are other people giving?"

Officer: "On average, about two gallons."

 

[rhino]

When Chuck Norris pees into the wind, the wind just accepts it.

 

[sharkey]

Why aren't there many Jim Jones jokes out there?














The punchline is always too long.

 

[Cameramonkey]

I just remembered a great one. But the delivery is everything. When you meet me, ask me about my best pirate joke. You wont be disappointed.