INGO: Joke of the day page

[actaeon277]

 

[Max Volume]

What do women and pools have in common?

They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you're inside them.

 

[DCR]

The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his Deckhand, so they sent an agent to investigate him.
IRS AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them".
Boat Owner: “Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board...
... Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $30 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen Budweisers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally".
IRS AGENT: “That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one".
Boat Owner: “That would be me. What would you like to know”?

 

[DCR]

Lee Trevino is mowing his grass. A man drives by and asks him how much he charges. Trevino says, "I don't charge anything, but the lady that lives here lets me sleep with her."

 

[DCR]

A man sees an old pirate. He's got a wooden leg, a hook instead of a hand, and a patch over his eye.
"What the heck happened to you?"
"Well a whale bit off me leg, a shark got me hand, and a seagull pooped in me eye."
"How the heck did you lose your eye to bird poop?"
"Well now, you see, that was me first day with the hook."

 

[Magyars]

 

[JCSR]

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender asks if he needs anything else.
Skeleton says "probably a mop"