So, many of you don't know that I moonlight as a sheriff deputy for the purpose of evicting deadbeats. It's a tough job as a lot of these apartments are filled will rotting food and trash. And if the tenant is still there, they're almost always belligerent.
So here's my problem. I was sent to serve in this rather large apartment complex. I talked the landlord and she gave me a key - as they always do any damage to the door comes out of my pocket!
"OK, where's this place at?"
"So, really easy - go out of this lot, turn left, go down aways and turn right, then when you see a flower pot with orange, not yellow, mums take a sharp left. Then ..."
"Wait, can you write this down for me?"
"I guess it's true that cops are dumb."
"OK, whatever, I'll find it."
So I start...OK, mums.... take a left.... walk past three legged cat... there's the kid's crappy coloring book page in the window she mentioned... ah, found it!
I knock to be sure no one's home. There's not suppose to be; landlord said they skipped out weeks ago, but I want to be sure I'm not busting in on a meth party.
No one answers. Good.
The locks in this dump are crap - I can't get the door open.
Then I hear it, "Hey, who's there?! What do want?!"
Great. There goes my day.
"Sheriff deputy, open up", I assert.
"Wait, a minute I need to get dressed." the voice replies. OK, spidey sense time. Any time I hear someone say that, they usually are up to some shenanigans.
...man this guy's taking too long...
let's try that key again...
Door opens, man exits apartment and closes door quickly. Then the barrage comes at me - you know, mye rye-ites. Here we go. For what seems like an eternity I have to here this guy curse me out - all the while I'm assessing him - is he a threat? Does he have a weapon?
My turn - I've had enough of his B.S. - I'm there to do a job. "Here's my court order sir. Are you the resident of this apartment?"
"That's not my address."
"Wait, what do you mean? This is the apartment I was told to go to."
"No - you turned right at the deaf kid sign and you should have turned left."
Ugh. I'm so pissed off, embarrassed, aggravated, behind on schedule...
"I demand to file a report!"
Great, just great. There's goes any hope of a Christmas bonus. Now I can't buy my kid the GI Joe with the kung fu grip. And because my kid's gonna cry, I'm not gonna get laid...
"What's your name?!"
"R. Smith", I reply begrudgingly. I offer up my department badge on my shoulder. I messed up, time to face the music.
"You think you can come and..."
The shower of contempt continued to pour from his mouth as I turn and walk away, tail between my legs. Now I'm behind schedule, lost, upset... Nevertheless, I'm not going to let this cop-basher get the best of me - he's not worth messing my boots up over this.
So did I do the right thing? Should I have curb stomped him instead?
So here's my problem. I was sent to serve in this rather large apartment complex. I talked the landlord and she gave me a key - as they always do any damage to the door comes out of my pocket!
"OK, where's this place at?"
"So, really easy - go out of this lot, turn left, go down aways and turn right, then when you see a flower pot with orange, not yellow, mums take a sharp left. Then ..."
"Wait, can you write this down for me?"
"I guess it's true that cops are dumb."
"OK, whatever, I'll find it."
So I start...OK, mums.... take a left.... walk past three legged cat... there's the kid's crappy coloring book page in the window she mentioned... ah, found it!
I knock to be sure no one's home. There's not suppose to be; landlord said they skipped out weeks ago, but I want to be sure I'm not busting in on a meth party.
No one answers. Good.
The locks in this dump are crap - I can't get the door open.
Then I hear it, "Hey, who's there?! What do want?!"
Great. There goes my day.
"Sheriff deputy, open up", I assert.
"Wait, a minute I need to get dressed." the voice replies. OK, spidey sense time. Any time I hear someone say that, they usually are up to some shenanigans.
...man this guy's taking too long...
let's try that key again...Door opens, man exits apartment and closes door quickly. Then the barrage comes at me - you know, mye rye-ites. Here we go. For what seems like an eternity I have to here this guy curse me out - all the while I'm assessing him - is he a threat? Does he have a weapon?
My turn - I've had enough of his B.S. - I'm there to do a job. "Here's my court order sir. Are you the resident of this apartment?"
"That's not my address."
"Wait, what do you mean? This is the apartment I was told to go to."
"No - you turned right at the deaf kid sign and you should have turned left."
Ugh. I'm so pissed off, embarrassed, aggravated, behind on schedule...
"I demand to file a report!"
Great, just great. There's goes any hope of a Christmas bonus. Now I can't buy my kid the GI Joe with the kung fu grip. And because my kid's gonna cry, I'm not gonna get laid...
"What's your name?!"
"R. Smith", I reply begrudgingly. I offer up my department badge on my shoulder. I messed up, time to face the music.
"You think you can come and..."
The shower of contempt continued to pour from his mouth as I turn and walk away, tail between my legs. Now I'm behind schedule, lost, upset... Nevertheless, I'm not going to let this cop-basher get the best of me - he's not worth messing my boots up over this.
So did I do the right thing? Should I have curb stomped him instead?
