Mother-in-law/Landlord is hatin'

[Newbomb92]

My fiance's mother lives next to us. She owns both homes and we are renting one from her to help her out financially . Recently with deer hunting I finally got around to bringing home my shotgun and rifle from my parent's house. I also have my SW6906 here. She came over to see me cleaning the shotgun. She started in with "I hope those are unloaded", "You shouldn't keep those in the house", "Put them in the garage or take them back to your parent's". Whoa. I understand the concern because my fiance has a 8yo daughter. However the little girl knows she doesn't touch the guns, she knows that if she ever found a gun to tell us or another adult. I was so pissed!!! The guns are never even near reach of a child, nor are they loaded. I keep the ammo in the utility room in a cabinet in an unmarked bag/box. The next morning she had the nerve to call me at 6am while I was getting ready to go to work and said "Did you get rid of the guns yet?". Yea, between 8pm and 6am I melted them down and made a blender Then when I get home from work my soon to be stepdaughter told grandma she wanted a pink BB gun for xmas!


/rant

 

[evansvillethompsongunner]

Well, one good solution would be to move, another would be to politely tell Grandma to mind her own business, another would be to talk with your fianceé to thoroughly flesh out where she stands about this... but I will tell you straight off that one of the worst things you could do would be to rudely or even brusquely try to tell her off... never get between a mother and daughter. Try to persuade if you can, but if you're rude about it, that will just play right into her hand. Keep calm and try to reason with her. Be sure to discuss it with the fianceé to make sure that you and she are on the same page about this... and together, take it from there.

Good luck and godspeed, sir.

 

[Newbomb92]

My fiance is fine with the guns, as long as they are unloaded (except the pistol). She too gets VERY annoyed with her mom being so nosey. However her mother has a revolver in the house that is unloaded and I don't know where she keeps it. If I ask I'm sure she'd say "don't worry about it" or "it's put away".

 

[evansvillethompsongunner]

Welp, then maybe have a sit-down with you, fianceé, and mother-in-law. Sounds like this might be more of a general nosiness issue than a just-firearms issue. No idea as I'm not there, but maybe see if a truce cannot be reached?

 

[kennys_67]

Ouch, gotta love in-laws like that, If she gets mad enough, she moves ya out, or live with that kind of thing everyday. I would take up hunting, be gone year round
lol

 

[92FS]

Everybody Loves Raymond

Have you ever watched the TV show, "Everybody Loves Raymond"?
My suggestion would be to move, and move now, and move far away from there.
Otherwise, you might as well start watching reruns of Raymond so you can see what your life will be like with a mother-in-law living next door who acts like Marie Barone!

 

[ArmedProgrammer]

1) This is not apparently a landlord/tenant issue. If it was, it would be spelled out in the contract. You DO have a contract and are handling this in a business-like manner, right?

that's me speaking as a landlord.

2) This sounds more like a mother-in-law issue. If it is being approached in that light, you need to establish your right to do things as you see fit. Handle personal matters in a person manner, and business matters in a business manner.

So - first thing to find out (and might have to ask) is this: are we discussing this as a landlord/tenant or as a Mother-In-Law/(Daughter+Son in Law)? Assuming it is the latter... then I would suggest that you arrive at a decision that you and your fiance can support. Make that decision. Then when questioned on it, it is simply a matter of what WE have decided. WE decided that we do wish to have guns in the house, and WE wish to have the ammo locked up elsewhere for safety. That is OUR decision and it has (past tense) been made. Thank you for respecting our need to make decisions like this as WE see fit.

My own mother likes to stick her nose in things quite a bit. I love her dearly, but she's tough as Mpther In Laws go. My wife and I have been very happily married for twenty years because WE make the decisions and allow no one else to wedge their way in between.

Side benefit - I often wind up pushing us towards dumb decisions (far more often, the ones I want don't work out as well). My wife reminds me that WE made the decision - not ME or HER. For good or for bad - it's a decision that WE made.

And yes - if she can't take that without throwing a fit, then putting some distance between you may be the best option. It likely won't affect the fact that she tries to weasel her way into your relationship - it will just make it harder for her to do, and the attempts less frequent.

Your marriage comes FIRST (or it should in my opinion). At least that's how I treat mine, and I'm happy with the results.

 

[JetGirl]

Legally, if it wasn't stated in some rental agreement signed by you...I don't think there's much she can do. (?)
Since she has a gun, it seems like she's a "do as I say, not as I do" person. That doesn't fly either.
I'm in the "verbally placate her while making plans to move" camp.

 

[RA8]

LEASE?

If you signed a lease, check it. Mine says no guns. It also says that I will be liable for damages caused by prohibited items, and does not say that he has the right to toss me to the curb.

If you have not signed a lease, she actually has the right to ask you to put em away. Get a non display gun safe/cabinet, and keep them out of sight. please please please please, get a safe for your ammo, and some solid trigger locks. I remember when I was a little kid, Finding my dads guns, even after I was taught never to touch them. Of course I picked them up and looked at them, I was a little kid. But they had trigger locks.

 

[redneckmedic]

I would completely ignore her. Until she gets in your face. Then calmly and (being slightly condinsending) make a layed back comment like, "I'm a big boy I can take care of my family, thanks for your persistant concern". This keeps you in charge, puts her in check and shows your wife you can treat her mother in a respectful manner even when she is out of line.

I would also make it a point to use the same "line" no matter what it is over and over as much as possible during these situations.

This is either one of two things:

1) Anti-gun (clearly not if she owns one)

2) Power struggle over Alpha position in the family.

She may not like it, but you are the head of your household now, she needs to know that, but there is plenty of room for her and her love and support, after all a Grandmother's role in your child's life is very important, communicate that too.

“... a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

 

[haldir]

The problem though is she owns the house so she makes the rules. She is letting you know that you are a child and she is in charge. That is the way she is always going to see this relationship if she is like that now. Good luck buddy.

 

[haldir]

Weird, I posted a response in this thread but it does not show up. It was showing a checkmark on my list though, like I had posted. Plus after reading it, it stayed dark like it was unread... weird.

 

[JetGirl]

The problem though is she owns the house so she makes the rules.

Wait...Newbomb92 is PAYING to live there, from my understanding. Unless it's in writing in a lease, wouldn't he have the right to have whatever he wants under the roof he's paying for?

 

[haldir]

Wait...Newbomb92 is PAYING to live there, from my understanding. Unless it's in writing in a lease, wouldn't he have the right to have whatever he wants under the roof he's paying for?

IANAL, but I think he needs the lease to protect his rights. Without it, I think she is the boss.

 

[JetGirl]

Huh. Interesting. I hope one of the lawyer types here on INGO chimes in. Now I'm all curious.

 

[Redskinsfan]

I'm with Annie on this

Legally, if it wasn't stated in some rental agreement signed by you...I don't think there's much she can do. (?)
Since she has a gun, it seems like she's a "do as I say, not as I do" person. That doesn't fly either.
I'm in the "verbally placate her while making plans to move" camp.

I strongly suggest the same. Does that ever sound like a woman I would want to leave behind.

Terry

 

[shawkpilot]

Borrow, or better yet buy an Ak or an AR. Then you can do what I did when my wife asked the question. "That's an assault rifle, what do you need with an assault rifle? Who are you going to assault?" Calmly look her in the eye and say "Keep talking." Didn't get laid that night, but the look on her face was priceless!

 

[Big John]

Borrow, or better yet buy an Ak or an AR. Then you can do what I did when my wife asked the question. "That's an assault rifle, what do you need with an assault rifle? Who are you going to assault?" Calmly look her in the eye and say "Keep talking." Didn't get laid that night, but the look on her face was priceless!

God please tell me your joking!!!! Use smilies if you are please....

If your not joking please immediately give all your firearms to a responsible gun owner.

Hmmmmm suggesting to use an "Assault Rifle" to assault your wife, Mrs. Brady did you here that?? Here is more ammo for you and your group.

 

[turnandshoot4]

Borrow, or better yet buy an Ak or an AR. Then you can do what I did when my wife asked the question. "That's an assault rifle, what do you need with an assault rifle? Who are you going to assault?" Calmly look her in the eye and say "Keep talking." Didn't get laid that night, but the look on her face was priceless!

I think he ment to put this too

2) Power struggle over Alpha position in the family.

 

[.30 Cal Al]

Hi

I'm new here, so you should take anyhting I say with the proverbial grain of salt. However, I do feel like I should say something here.

First of all...

My fiance's mother lives next to us. She owns both homes and we are renting one from her to help her out financially . Recently with deer hunting I finally got around to bringing home my shotgun and rifle from my parent's house. I also have my SW6906 here. She came over to see me cleaning the shotgun. She started in with "I hope those are unloaded", "You shouldn't keep those in the house", "Put them in the garage or take them back to your parent's". Whoa. I understand the concern because my fiance has a 8yo daughter.

Woah, dude. That changes a whole lot of things. Following is a few questions you should ask yourself.

However the little girl knows she doesn't touch the guns, she knows that if she ever found a gun to tell us or another adult.

...and you know this will work because, when you were 8, you were so well behaved and followed your parents' instructions so scrupulously? Have they developed a new subspecies of 8YO that I haven't heard about??

I was so pissed!!!

The guns are never even near reach of a child, nor are they loaded

Being pissed is understandable, but: What part of your house was never near your reach when you were 8? I could get to every part of the house when I was 8.

The, "nor are they loaded," part is good, though.

I keep the ammo in the utility room in a cabinet in an unmarked bag/box.

How is it that you didn't know the contents of every unmarked box and bag in your house when you were 8? Were there no rainy Saturdays there? I certainly knew every secret my parents wanted hidden. What else is there to do on a rainy Saturday but explore?

The next morning she had the nerve to call me at 6am while I was getting ready to go to work and said "Did you get rid of the guns yet?". Yea, between 8pm and 6am I melted them down and made a blender Then when I get home from work my soon to be stepdaughter told grandma she wanted a pink BB gun for xmas!
/rant

Congratulations on having what looks like an excellent relationship with your gonna-be-daughter. Target sports can really pull people together.

As to your gonna-be-mother-in-law: People who think that guns are magic believe that you can do magic things with them. What can I say.

As to your storage parameters, I think that you need to take further steps. This advice is free, and is, thus, probably worth about as much:

First: Lock the guns up. This isn't as hard as you might think. I use Mogul Life Jackets on most of my guns.

The Model LJ1 is good for small, medium and most large frame automatics and small and medium frame revolvers. The Model LJ2 is good for large frame automatics and medium and large frame revolvers.

My Walther P22 disappears into a LJ2, and I think that it may be able to be pulled out of the back hole, but the LJ1 holds it quite securely. My Ruger Vaqueros fit quite snugly into their LJ2s, but they do fit!

My Remington 870 wears a Model 3. Both it and I are very happy with it.

My Taurus Model 627, loaded and ready to go, is in an LJ2 which is bolted to the night stand beside my bed. The key hangs around my neck on a dog-tag chain.

All the other keys are on my key ring, with spares in a lock box bolted to the shelf in my closet. This isn't as hard as you might suspect, either, as most of my LJ1s use matched keys, as do my LJ2s, but a different style of key.

Any time one of my firearms isn't in my immediate possession, it's locked up.

Some of my firearms don't fit in a Life Jacket. For them, I use more ordinary trigger locks, but then they're locked into an extra closet that I can lock. I just installed an outdoor doorknob kit with a lock.

Want to guess where the keys to that are?

My ammo is stored in locked Army ammo cans, with the keys similarly distributed.

Ammo Can Lock:


Now, while this may real like an ad for the Life Jacket, it's not!

....

Well - ok - it kind of is. What it is really, though, is an ad for keeping Little Fingers (my nickname for the house 5YO) out of stuff designated for use by larger and older fingers only.

You see: I remember what I was like when I was 5. ...and when I was 8.