Sexual assault/rape

[zombieglock]

Not sure if this is the right place or if this is gonna cause flaming on me. I believe it is/was a useful and purposeful exercise and training we did. I just wanted to share it with you guys and gals to get your take on things. (positive and negative)


Last night my Girlfriend and I were hanging out discussing things. One thing that got brought up was her not carrying any means of protecting herself. Keep in mind about 8 months ago, she got her LTCH and a gun.

She told me that if someone attacked her and tried to sexually assault or rape her she could defend herself. I told her to prove it.
I grabbed her and pinned her down and (for the purpose of this exercise) got her into a position that would have proved terrible. She had no chance of escaping nor incapacitating me.

After this she told me she was actually scared because of how quick it happened and that she had no control. She is a decently strong athletic 5'9" build about 120 lbs. Im 6' , 215lbs.

Now this whole thing can be called borderline wrong or unethical, but it proved to be a huge stepping stone for her to realize that she isnt in control. I told her things she could have done to me to try and get away.
She has now decided that a gun is something she should carry at all times. We are also going to continue to run different exercises and training to provide her and I the best chances at handing a situation.

So have any of you tried a training exercise like this? or talked to your girlfriend/wife/fiancé about it?

Because talk is one thing.. performing an exercise like this is another..

 

[Rocket]

And she is still your girlfriend? But seriously, good for you. This is a sensative area for both parties. Better your controlled event to show her what could happen than the real deal and having to deal with the aftermath, and learning. Teaching loved ones is as important than learning ourselves. Because anyone that believes they will always be able to protect or defend them all the time is delusional.

 

[Scutter01]

This is why carrying a gun should only be one tiny part of your complete self-defense preparation. Sounds like a gun would have been useless here. It's also why force-on-force training is so vital. It's one thing to do it at a range or in a dojo, but until you're really in that situation, you have no idea how you'll react. FoF classes try to simulate that as much as is safely possible. In this particular case, learning ground fighting would have served her well. You'd be surprised what you can do when you're on your back with your arms pinned.

 

[the1kidd03]

Disrupting preconceived assumptions of reality is a necessary component of effective training and for the requisite "mindset adjustment" to occur and bring them to realize the brutality of real life. This goes for both sparking the interest in training and self-defense, as well as converting someone from the anti-gun mindset to a pro-defense mindset.

 

[churchmouse]

Disrupting preconceived assumptions of reality is a necessary component of effective training and for the requisite "mindset adjustment" to occur and bring them to realize the brutality of real life. This goes for both sparking the interest in training and self-defense, as well as converting someone from the anti-gun mindset to a pro-defense mindset.

My wife was of a similar mind early on. 5' 10" and about 135/140...championship swimmer/diver and softball pitcher. Tom boy type but feminine as well. She was of a mind that even I should not carry as I am well able to defend myself and have proven it more than a few times.
We were having the same discussion and I did near the same thing. It frightened her terribly and caused issue for a bit but she came to see the point.
Something to consider.....a man filled with lustfull rage ar just rage is hard for another man to control. A woman unprepared stands no chance. A prepared woman will have more than she can really handle.

 

[darinb]

Reality based exercises like this open up people to the unrealistic way they think. I used to help teach tae kwon do and boxing and left the last school because the owner/instructor wanted to get rid of contact sparring and teach watered down self defense classes to make money. Sadly many women and children left that class thinking the "magical" non realistic move they learned would insure any rapist or child molester would fall frozen in fear and pain. There is nothing that gets you thinking realistically like getting your butt handed to you. We all need to learn from the school of hard knocks sometimes.

 

[ModernGunner]

This scenario repeats constantly. People who have never actually been in violent or (potentially) lethal confrontation (that's NOT just some 'high school fight' or the odd 'drunk in the bar') time and again fail to comprehend what's needed to survive such encounters. Interestingly enough, more often than not that failure comes from men, as we have our own egos to overcome.

Even more curious, some INGO member will post a clip of a violent encounter or a shooting, and almost immediately some folks will chime in that the good guy (LEO, citizen, whatever) "over-reacted" or "shot too many times", or that the LEO is "a JBT", or some other ludicrous observation. It's

As always, I encourage seeking training only from Instructors that have actually been through such encounters. Otherwise, it's just all 'theory' from that Instructor, regardless of where that Instructor learned that theory. Same with 'defensive tactics' or 'defensive combat' Instructors. Seek instruction only from someone who's been there. Well, at least if they're charging you for that instruction.

REAL people have died because they realized, too late, how lethal the encounter was that they were involved in. Citizens and LEO's have died because they failed to assess what confronted them, a truly 'fatal error'.

OP - Bringing your lady to this 'new paradigm' is a good thing. It's not 'mean' or 'gone too far', as she's safe, 'rattled' but unharmed, and alive. And this 'demonstration' was MUCH less violent than what happens in a real encounter.

 

[iChokePeople]

I could introduce you women who could make you beg for mercy for trying to pin them like that. No, seriously. And IMHO, the situation described here is not a gun problem.

 

[bradmedic04]

Good on you, if for no other reason than getting her to confront the reality; that anyone can be overpowered, and that escaping or fighting one's way out is never a guarantee.

I used to teach a women's self defense class. Some basic joint manipulation and close quarter technique go a long way. You might find something local to you if you're serious about keeping her safe.

 

[Jackson]

I could introduce you women who could make you beg for mercy for trying to pin them like that. No, seriously.

I think you should leave Rhino's mom out of this. (Actually, that's kinda hot. When can I meet them? )

And IMHO, the situation described here is not a gun problem.

ICP understands the situation. A gun is likely not the best solution to the problem above. I recommend you go and let ICP pin you down then try to access your pistol and see where it gets you.

In-fight weapons access happens after you gain enough control, position, or enough space to maintain it once its in the fight. If she had no control and no position, she probably had no opportunity to bring a gun to bear on the situation effectively. Perhaps a different type of training is in order.

 

[churchmouse]

I could introduce you women who could make you beg for mercy for trying to pin them like that. No, seriously. And IMHO, the situation described here is not a gun problem.

I know a few that could rattle about any man. They are well trained and go right to it. I made the mistake of "going easy" with one of them and got my A$$ handed to me for pulling punches.

 

[zombieglock]

I know as does she that a gun will not help if already pinned or attacked in most cases. It was more of a "wow I didn't know I could be taken that easily" I've wanted her to carry a means to protect herself for a while now. This helped strengthen the fact she needs something. I will pursue more training for her from qualified instructors. Thanks guys.

 

[Jackson]

I know as does she that a gun will not help if already pinned or attacked in most cases. It was more of a "wow I didn't know I could be taken that easily" I've wanted her to carry a means to protect herself for a while now. This helped strengthen the fact she needs something. I will pursue more training for her from qualified instructors. Thanks guys.

Good deal. I'm always glad to see people out there training. Don't forget to get in there and take the training yourself. Even men should know how to protect themselves.

 

[cedartop]

Good deal. I'm always glad to see people out there training. Don't forget to get in there and take the training yourself. Even men should know how to protect themselves.

Bah! Me man. What's to know?

 

[dmarsh8]

Good to practice OP. I agree with others and believe that most of the time other methods of self defense will be needed
as opposed to a firearm.

 

[Jackson]

Bah! Me man. What's to know?

Not all men are as manly as you. :-)

 

[iChokePeople]

Good deal. I'm always glad to see people out there training. Don't forget to get in there and take the training yourself. Even men should know how to protect themselves.

+1. And kudos on getting her training from qualified instructors and admitting it when you're not the right guy to teach her. Sometimes that can be difficult to admit.

 

[rhino]

I'm too delicate and frail for all of this.

 

[ViperJock]

Every Force on Force activity I have ever been a part of is sobering. Barring an old west style showdown at 20 paces the advantage goes to the bad guy. (In the case that they intend to hurt you from the start). Action vs reaction and all that. Avoidance is always the best policy. Situational Awareness is paramount. Worse comes to worse it's better to have been trained. IMO once the grappling starts, have a knife handy. The "advantage" a woman may have is that the perp could underestimate you. Of course the lady would need training on how to exploit that. It's my opinion that many gun carriers have a false sense of security just because they have heat strapped on. 1. Owning a gun doesn't make you a bad ass. 2. Even a bad ass can get killed by a loser with a gun in their pocket.

 

[mrjarrell]

Sounds like she could use some training in Krav Maga. It's down and dirty.