...not following their own procedure for calling the parents when there was a problem with their child.
The daycare does have a policy of contacting the parents when there is a problem. It's right there in the contract that both of us (daycare and me) signed. Are you going to say that having a child not present for pickup doesn't count as a problem? To the best of my knowledge there was no requirement stated or implied that I had to call them to make sure they did what they had agreed to do.
If it is written in the contract, or made known verbally, that a child that won't be at daycare will be known to the facility via a phone call from a guardian, then yea, I could see not picking up the kid, absent a phone call, would be a problem. If this was a daycare with only three kids, and the babysitter knows you or your wife would have called saying "she won't be there," then yea, I would see that as a problem. I guess it depends on what kind of facility you have here that you call a daycare. If it is full of kids, and there is no requirement for parents to call to say "So and so is sick, so and so has an appointment, etc" and "he/she won't be there" then I can't see an issue. If the kid is not there, and there is no requirement for parents to call, I would assume the child is with his or her parents, or something.
...to the day care, I spoke to the administrator, I said, "when Athena was missing from pickup you should have called me right away." She said, "You're right." If that counts as overreaction then I don't know what to say.
If she would have said "You're wrong." would you still be giving her money or her company money? She has a vested interest in saying "You're right." As always, follow the money. You are the one to her, a portion of which goes into her pocket. Do you think she would have been honest with you if she really thought it wasn't their fault? Not if she wanted to continue to receive a portion of your money. Customer service 101: If you want to keep on receiving the customer's money, do what you can to keep the customer happy. I know, I know, your not blaming them, but your just saying they "fell short," whatever that means if it is not a blame for wrongdoing, making a mistake, whatever.