Some drunk @#$%^ just drove through my yard.

[BE Mike]

One question. Are the garden gnomes ok?

 

[MikeDVB]

My wife insists on a moat. I'm not even joking, a ditch 4-6 feet deep, filled with water (and frickin sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their foreheads), and preferably with a stone or brick fence outside of that, and a nice hedge of thornbushes on the inside. I'm almost not looking forward to buying a house anymore, the more I think about it.

That sounds awesome... Want to help me build one? Looking at buying a house now!

LOL

 

[MikeDVB]

I had to get up early so I couldn't get drunk enough.

You know what I hear?









































Excuses.





















jk

 

[hoosierdoc]

You get in trouble if you booby trap your lawn against cars FYI

 

[wolfman]

You get in trouble if you booby trap your lawn against cars FYI

Jack rocks and nail strips are booby traps, but one ton rocks spaced appropriately along the road are considered landscaping.

 

[Frank_N_Stein]

You get in trouble if you booby trap your lawn against cars FYI

Actually, booby traps are only illegal when used against people.

 

[Amattern]

im looking for the, I was driving down the road in my jack up truck and saw some stupid lawn ornaments thread?

 

[wolfman]

im looking for the, I was driving down the road in my jack up truck and saw some stupid lawn ornaments thread?

 

[hoosierdoc]

Actually, booby traps are only illegal when used against people.

People drive cars

 

[churchmouse]

If you put down spike strips and some one impales themselves it is your butt. Makes no matter if they are trespassing.

 

[GunSlinger]

Actually, booby traps are only illegal when used against people.

Actually, I prefer Claymores with trip-wires! ...should that have been purple?

 

[meegz]

The moat should be outside the curtain wall in order to make it harder to climb from the outside. I recommend a drawbridge, a gatehouse, barbican (with murder holes) and portcullis, as well as bastions at the corners.

You're forgetting the razorwire on top of the fence, the pungi sticks in the moat, ballistae at strategic intervals, and a trebuchet in the garage.

As far as I can tell, the only thing I'm joking about is the sharks and ballistae. She loves watching Punkin Chunkin every Thanksgiving with my family, which is why she wants the trebuchet. I say go big or go home, get the air cannon, but she says it speaks to her medieval side when its a trebuchet. Marriage is about compromise, so I agreed.

 

[Frank_N_Stein]

Actually, I prefer Claymores with trip-wires! ...should that have been purple?

Whatever works for you.

 

[mbills2223]

It wasn't me. I was drunk last night but didn't leave the house. Well, I don't think I left the house.

Werent you on duty last night??









Too soon?

 

[Frank_N_Stein]

Werent you on duty last night??









Too soon?

Took you (or anyone else) long enough!

 

[Expat]

Took you (or anyone else) long enough!

or some of us see nothing wrong with it... nothing wrong with a few cocktails while working...

 

[Frank_N_Stein]

or some of us see nothing wrong with it... nothing wrong with a few cocktails while working...

My curbstomps become less effective or enjoyable as my BAC goes up so I stay sober at work.

 

[Bunnykid68]

Not to self. If I ever meet Frank make sure he is wearing slippers and has an adult beverage in his hand.

And a cookie.

 

[mbills2223]

Took you (or anyone else) long enough!

When I saw your post I thought surely someone had already indulged. I'm glad to have gotten the honor, but I'm disappointed in INGO.

 

[Mark 1911]

Some large landscaping rocks / boulders in strategic locations will keep the cars off of your lawn.