Some people won't learn before it's too late

[Miles42]

I know the feeling my DIL will not have a gun in the house. I have several I want to give my son but does not look like that will happen.

 

[davidc912]

I've always thought of you as the father I never had... Send me the guns. I'll take great care of them. I will carry on with them and honor your traditions.

 

[Spike_351]

The cops got called tonight. Parents where gone so she called her friend over the mom and my wife where a few houses down and watch them walk into the house and mom called 911. So at least in the short term the problem is solved.

But they need to fix the daughters problems now before it gets worse.

I'm glad to hear it. It's good friends like you and your wife that can save lives, I was forced to live around the gang member types for a short while in my teenage years. Definitely not the kind of people u want her associating.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

Don't just invite him to the range, invite the whole family. An effective basis in safe handling doesn't have to take long or be boring. Then take some canteloupes or something to illustrate "what they can do", then let them punch some holes. This should go a long way to alleviating the "kids in the house" argument, though it in no way substitutes for proper training.

The 14 y/o, I don't have much to add, except that this "interference" may trigger further rebellion. I hope not, and I feel for the guy.

 

[huey]

good advice

Don't loan him a gun. I understand that you care about him and want to help him protect his family, and I respect the hell out your willingness to lend your arms to that end.

But...

Having an armed household is a family commitment. This is a commitment that they have not yet been willing to make. By loaning him a firearm, you interrupt some necessary growth that needs to occur within that household.

He needs to grow and understand that "kids in the house" is a cop out. He needs to take his wife to task on this and make her understand that her irrational fear causes him to have to approach every situation with a child's toy in his hand... which is a real danger, unlike her imaginary dangers of firearm ownership.

Slipping him a firearm means that some very serious discussions never occur. An open, active, mutual commitment to the family's safety never takes place. Then, when an accident happens with a gun that nobody knew about, guess who's the bad guy. (*you)

Or when the 18yr old comes in to the house with the daughter while they're at work. The daughter basically shows him the unsecured/poorly secured "secret" gun and it ends up on Indy's eastside, and you get to see it on local news being waved in the face of a VP clerk.

Again, I respect your selflessness, but if you want to make his home safe, encourage him to truly protect what is his... to stand up, discuss it, buy it, train with it, protect with it, and have them both agree on all of it.

1+ good advice
If you do it anyway make sure i gun is NOT tied (traceable) to you.

 

[Sailor]

His wife likes the idea but he still isn't willing to get one.

Somebody has to be responsible for the safety and security of the family. If won't step up to the plate maybe she will. Give the gun to her and train her.

Also, run the punks name here and see if he has any record, http://mycase.in.gov/default.aspx

 

[Supersport]

Seems like there is alot more going on there than just a lack of home defense. I have loaned out fire arms before for friends to take to the range but never to use at home in case something were to happen! I think if i were the parent of the 14 year old girl i might be getting the police involved. If she is 14 and he is 18 and he thinks he wants in her pants i would remind him that its illegal. Although if he is part of a gang and that kind of douche bag then im sure he wouldnt' care. All in all i don't think i would loan my gun to a friend that could use it on a 18 year old guy out of anger or the heat of the moment. just my two cents.

 

[DRob]

Consider this

When you're trying to convince somebody they should do something they don't want to do, pressuring them can be worst thing you can do. Making them feel like you've backed them into a corner can force them to feel like they have to defend their opinions. That's a losing strategy.

 

[churchmouse]

Having experienced this scenario with my daughter when she was young and so much smarter than I am (she is much better now and very stable) you can only do so much. If he has let this happen in his life he has to get it straight. Any involvement by you with an 18 year old thug will only end badly. Do not loan him a gun. You might give him one and do some paper work to cover your tail but a baseball bat and an 18 yr. old are a good mix if Dad will use it properly.
With my daughter it took a few direct encounters off and on property to convince the thug in my life that his life was definitely at high risk if he continued. He decided to seek a softer target.

 

[ryan3030]

The issue here is at 3am you hear loud bangs out side your house is it fire works or gun shots? In this case fire works but what if it was gun shots in your neighbors house? Are them coming here next or what?

Having experienced that myself about 6 months ago, I don't disagree with you.

I'm all for advocating that the people I care about obtain the means to properly defend themselves, but for some of them it just isn't going to happen so I stop pushing them about it.

If they desire to live blissfully ignorant of the dangers that this world presents, then so be it. While it is an unfortunate decision it is ultimately their decision. At least you tried man.

Then again they are your friends, so you know how far to push and when to stop pushing

 

[Valvestate]

If you got monies to spare, buy the wife a hi point jhp and take her shooting with your wife. At least she's willing to wear some pants. That problem could end up being your problem fast if it gets really bad. Think if your kids are being watched by your friends and no one is armed when the thug decides to take what he thinks is his.

 

[StreetStrip01]

Don't loan him a gun. I understand that you care about him and want to help him protect his family, and I respect the hell out your willingness to lend your arms to that end.

But...

Having an armed household is a family commitment. This is a commitment that they have not yet been willing to make. By loaning him a firearm, you interrupt some necessary growth that needs to occur within that household.

He needs to grow and understand that "kids in the house" is a cop out. He needs to take his wife to task on this and make her understand that her irrational fear causes him to have to approach every situation with a child's toy in his hand... which is a real danger, unlike her imaginary dangers of firearm ownership.

Slipping him a firearm means that some very serious discussions never occur. An open, active, mutual commitment to the family's safety never takes place. Then, when an accident happens with a gun that nobody knew about, guess who's the bad guy. (*you)

Or when the 18yr old comes in to the house with the daughter while they're at work. The daughter basically shows him the unsecured/poorly secured "secret" gun and it ends up on Indy's eastside, and you get to see it on local news being waved in the face of a VP clerk.

Again, I respect your selflessness, but if you want to make his home safe, encourage him to truly protect what is his... to stand up, discuss it, buy it, train with it, protect with it, and have them both agree on all of it.

Yup.

Sometimes people need to have consequences. He keeps putting it off, saying they don't have a need, etc....

Sometimes you just need to let them make their own decisions, and see what happens.

Obviously it isn't a priority to them, why should their security be a priority to you?

 

[XtremeVel]

If you do it anyway make sure i gun is NOT tied (traceable) to you.

Hmmmm... Not sure what I think about that advice... While I certainly believe it's no ones business how it was LEGALLY aquired, I would expect the worse and expect someone to attempt to find out.

If the loaned weapon gets used to defend themselves, I can't envision some kind of investigation NOT happening to determine if it was justified use of force... I would also surely think the weapon used would be temporarily confiscated at the minimum...

While Indiana does not have a registration, as long as the firearm is clean, I wouldn't think it would matter... The OP's friend would have a couple choices... He could either refuse to state where he got it from or he could tell... The one thing the OP's friend would not want to do would be to give a false statement and compromise his integrity in a situation where it otherwise would of been a completely justified use of force...

 

[Lucas156]

Sounds like the daughter has daddy issues