Beats taking off on time and finding that there was a thunderstorm off the end of the runway, and then the feeling of aluminum shards piercing your body as your body digs itself into the wet ground.
And O'Hare isn't that bad a place to get stuck at. Try Midway or that airport in Houston.
Leave your carry on in random spots, and use the words "infidels", "jihad", and "allah" frequently.
Midway? You mean Southwest, with "The Fall of Saigon Boarding Method®" [shudder]
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"This will be the final boarding call for Southwest flight 659, all passengers with a confirmed seat on Southwest flight 659 should be on board"
Flying today reminds me of riding on Greyhound in the early 80s.