I have one that fully extends to say "welcome to the island of Jamaica - have a nice day!"
I have a few from Eric Norvell at Artistic Skin Design in Noblesville.
Having met you, this seems kind of, well. . . not at all like the fellow I met.
Of course, I'm not wearing the same shoes as your long suffering wife.
I was told to "put my best foot forward" during the drive.