Today's You Can't Make This Sh*t Up News

[DoggyDaddy]

Picking your nose raises your risk of catching COVID, study suggests​

Picking your nose raises your risk of catching COVID, study suggests

People who picked their nose daily or weekly were at highest risk of a Covid infection, the study from the Netherlands found. One in five nose pickers tested positive during the study.

www.dailymail.co.uk

I disagree. When I pick my nose, I'm getting all of the Covid bugs out of there that were clinging to the boogers.

 

[Vodnik4]

I disagree. When I pick my nose, I'm getting all of the Covid bugs out of there that were clinging to the boogers.

Not if you eat them

 

[Shadow01]

Not if you eat them

That snot right…

 

[red_zr24x4]

I disagree. When I pick my nose, I'm getting all of the Covid bugs out of there that were clinging to the boogers.

I lol'd, but I agree

 

[Nazgul]

Is that mustard on your nose?

No it i's not!!

My high brow comment on INGO for the day.

I am done here.....

Don

 

[JCSR]

Transwoman demands return of her TESTICLES which ex is keeping in jar

In a affidavit and claim, Brianna Kingsley said that her former partner William Wojciechowski, of Pontiac, Michigan, was retaining her testicles in a jar in his fridge.

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[Indyhd]

Transwoman demands return of her TESTICLES which ex is keeping in jar

In a affidavit and claim, Brianna Kingsley said that her former partner William Wojciechowski, of Pontiac, Michigan, was retaining her testicles in a jar in his fridge.

www.dailymail.co.uk

I don't think Brianna will get them back. After all, Rocky Mountain Oysters are on special at the Pontiac Polish Pub on Tuesdays.

 

[JCSR]

Ya think? lol

 

[Cameramonkey]

Not if you eat them

Years ago they published a study that booger eaters actually have better immune systems. Seems weird until you realize that they are just getting more low dose examples of "the crud" which boosts their immunity to it. Kinda like how today's kids have weaker immune systems because they live in cleaner environments and arent out playing in the dirt as much.

Not recommending, just pointing out weird side effects of what is considered a gross activity.

Also, dont forget. You can pick your friends. And you can pick your nose. But you cant pick your friend's nose.

 

[d.kaufman]

Also, dont forget. You can pick your friends. And you can pick your nose. But you cant pick your friend's nose.

 

[printcraft]

Transwoman demands return of her TESTICLES which ex is keeping in jar

In a affidavit and claim, Brianna Kingsley said that her former partner William Wojciechowski, of Pontiac, Michigan, was retaining her testicles in a jar in his fridge.

www.dailymail.co.uk

They are both nuts.

 

[Mgderf]

Ya think? lol

Yep, she's right.
It IS har parents fault.
They should have instilled some semblance of education.
It's obvious that they did not, and she is now screwed for life.

 

[Cameramonkey]

Yep, she's right.
It IS har parents fault.
They should have instilled some semblance of education.
It's obvious that they did not, and she is now screwed for life.

BINGO!

The first time my daughter mentioned getting a tattoo, I made it VERY clear she is a moron if she gets one above the waist you can see while while wearing a polo shirt. ankles, belly, lower back, etc are OK. As long as you can cover it easily, your life will be infinitely easier than if you choose very visible locations. ESPECIALLY above the collar bone. Thats an express ticket to a harder life professionally because that screams "poor life choices".

Yeah, I know. Some will say you shouldn't judge people on their looks. But we can only control what we do to ourselves, and we cant control others or their opinions. I know some pretty cool people with tats. A few with some in the no-go areas I outlined above. In the latter case, its a mix of whether they made otherwise bad life choices in their past. But 100% they are all less than they could be today due to the corner they painted inked themselves into.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Yep, she's right.
It IS har parents fault.
They should have instilled some semblance of education.
It's obvious that they did not, and she is now screwed for life.

I think she says her "appearance" had something to do with it, not "her parents". But they might have something to do with her appearance too.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

BINGO!

The first time my daughter mentioned getting a tattoo, I made it VERY clear she is a moron if she gets one above the waist you can see while while wearing a polo shirt. ankles, belly, lower back, etc are OK. As long as you can cover it easily, your life will be infinitely easier than if you choose very visible locations. ESPECIALLY above the collar bone. Thats an express ticket to a harder life professionally because that screams "poor life choices".

Yeah, I know. Some will say you shouldn't judge people on their looks. But we can only control what we do to ourselves, and we cant control others or their opinions. I know some pretty cool people with tats. A few with some in the no-go areas I outlined above. In the latter case, its a mix of whether they made otherwise bad life choices in their past. But 100% they are all less than they could be today due to the corner they painted inked themselves into.

I don't know... Mike Tyson did okay with face tats.

 

[Cameramonkey]

I don't know... Mike Tyson did okay with face tats.

In all fairness, he got most of his success/winnings before the tat.

But unless I want my baby girl beating on people for a living, I suspect she is better off not getting one. Just sayin.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

In all fairness, he got most of his success/winnings before the tat.

But unless I want my baby girl beating on people for a living, I suspect she is better off not getting one. Just sayin.

I never wanted a tattoo. I always figured, "What if I want to commit some heinous crime someday? I don't need any additional identifying features."

 

[Chewie]

I never wanted a tattoo. I always figured, "What if I want to commit some heinous crime someday? I don't need any additional identifying features."

I had a tattoo for a little while, decided it just wasn't something I wanted






So I washed it off!

 

[AndreusMaximus]

Ya think? lol

Somehow even with all that black ink on her face I can't help but suspect she's the type who'd be right there with other lefty loonies who were calling for a restaurant to remove a picture of coal miners because it looked like "blackface"

 

[TheGrumpyGuy]

Ya think? lol

She's pretty smart for a dumbass