Certifications - who's got 'em, and what do they mean

[VUPDblue]

I don't remember.....

 

[KittySlayer]

I can operate a car - Drivers License.

I can operate a car poorly - Insurance.

I can swim underwater - SDI.

I can watch people write their name - Notary Public.

I can ride a bicycle - USCF.

I can count using my fingers - CPA.

I can screw the IRS out of taxes - MST/PTIN.

I can screw a woman, but it's the same one every time - Marriage License.

I can shoot a gun - LTCH.

I am an expert in every thing - Internet.

I can travel - Passport.

I am old - Birth Certificate.

I can get older - Social Security Card.

I can help Make America Great again - Voter Registration and an ID.

 

[KittySlayer]

I don't remember.....

That's why they give you those little cards for your wallet.

The only thing that might be worth anything is Hazardous Devices Technician.

Isn't that what a LTCH is?

I wish there was a curbstomp certification. Thats got to be worth at least a $5/hr bump in pay.

Practice makes Perfect, and there is always Photoshop and a laminating machine.

 

[Vigilant]

I'm a cop. According to 50% of the US population (that thinks television is real) there is quite literally nothing on earth that I'm not certified in or qualified to perform.

Except your job, you are most definitely NOT certified/qualified to make a life or death decision without the press, BLM, the city, the county, the state, or Obama's DOJ, or INGO, Monday Morning Quartecuting you!