My wife is a gun hater and I'm sick of it.

[Archbishop]

You need to figure out if this is just anti-gun emotions, or if there is something else going on. If its just your basic anti-gun thoughts proceed as others have suggested. If there's something else going on you'll probably need a different approach. I don't know you from Adam, but considering the history you've shared I would wonder if she's concerned about the money that you're spending. Depending on what the true problem is you might give some that to counseling.

 

[stilllearning09]

That's a good laugh to start the day!

 

[Indecision]

I would find a new woman, but i'm not the "sensitive" type.

 

[ATM]

Get the gun. It will give you something to talk about.



Talking is good for a relationship.

 

[NHT3]

I would find a new woman, but i'm not the "sensitive" type.

I guess I'm not the sensitive type either. Life is short and then you leave this earth.. IMHO it's too short to live with someone that is so opinionated and cares so little about your likes and dislikes. Only hearing one side of the story makes any advice you get of limited value but I would submit that if ANYTHING is not "up for discussion" there's serious communication problem that need to be addressed. I lost "half my stuff" about 15 years ago and in my case losing half my stuff also cured an ulcer and that alone was worth the time, trouble and expense. Two of the many things you can't buy in life are peace of mind and your health. I've never regretted my decision have now been blessed with an Angel for a wife.. You know your situation better than anyone and when you have had enough you WILL know what needs to be done.. Good luck and God bless..

 

[MACHINEGUN]

I use to have the same exact problem.. I kicked her to the curb.. problem solved.

 

[Ol'Bluesmoke]

Wow...thank you for all responses..even the idea about having a guy come over to pretend to break in (there is no way I would ever do that) but I think the author of that possible solution was trying to be helpful.

We have moved 4 times and to three different states in the last 3 years and now she is attending law school so we all have been under a great deal of pressure. We tried counseling but we are just different people and try to agree to disagree. The thing that would break my heart is breaking up and the effect it would have on my beautiful three year old daughter. However, I also know that having an unhappy couple is not good for a young child too.

I tried (for years) to interest her in firearms and their role not only as protection but also as one of the loves in my life...I have been shooting since I was a young kid starting with BB guns and finallly getting my first handgun shortly after turning 21...well that was almost 19 years ago and not having shooting as an outlet has been really tough for the last 3 years. She worries about money and so do I, but we have a little extra for me to buy this "budget" Ruger and I think I might just not talk about it anymore with her and just get the gun...believe me we have talked and talked and it seems to turn into a fight every time.

 

[techres]

...The thing that would break my heart is breaking up and the effect it would have on my beautiful three year old daughter.

Woah there bucko, that changes everything. We talk about being willing to die or kill for our kids here and we generally mean it. The same goes for doing anything it takes to make the marriage work, anything, just for your daughter.

However, I also know that having an unhappy couple is not good for a young child too....

Statistics do not bear this out. Having a difficult marriage puts that girl in a better place than a divorce hands down. Yeah, sucks now, but guess how bad it will be when some other guy, a far, far worse guy is raising your kid for you, and putting her future out of your hands.

And as for having guns? Divorce/Separation is the fastest way to having no guns at all thanks to Lautenberg. Guaranteed.

Keep your eyes on the prize, make it 15 more years, and save your kid.

Sure, there may be a day you need a gun, but without question every day your daughter needs you!

Hang tight, please, for her.

 

[Indecision]

Statistics do not bear this out. Having a difficult marriage puts that girl in a better place than a divorce hands down. Yeah, sucks now, but guess how bad it will be when some other guy, a far, far worse guy is raising your kid for you, and putting her future out of your hands.

And as for having guns? Divorce/Separation is the fastest way to having no guns at all thanks to Lautenberg. Guaranteed.

Keep your eyes on the prize, make it 15 more years, and save your kid.

Sure, there may be a day you need a gun, but without question every day your daughter needs you!

Hang tight, please, for her.

I disagree with this 100%, my parents divorced when I was about 15... probably 10 years too late if you ask me. I'm not going into details, but I honestly believe it would've been better if they had done it a LOT earlier.

 

[techres]

I disagree with this 100%, my parents divorced when I was about 15... probably 10 years too late if you ask me. I'm not going into details, but I honestly believe it would've been better if they had done it a LOT earlier.

My family went through two. One when we were young and one in the teens. They had two different effects. The one when I was young destroyed my sister at the age of 5 and her life never really recovered. As for the one when we were teens, yeah, you could argue it was a few years overdue, but seriously that was very, very different than when we were not even in school yet.

And the stats I have read over and over bear this out.

OP, work for the marriage like a gun fight. Say in the fight, do whatever you have to do, and do not take the temptation to lay down and give up. And whatever you do, do not let a gun come between you and being the day to day father of your daughter.

Trust me, the next guy is gonna be far, far worse than you and you will have no ability to stop whatever damage he inflicts. NO gun is worth that.

 

[Indecision]

My family went through two. One when we were young and one in the teens. They had two different effects. The one when I was young destroyed my sister at the age of 5 and her life never really recovered. As for the one when we were teens, yeah, you could argue it was a few years overdue, but seriously that was very, very different than when we were not even in school yet.

And the stats I have read over and over bear this out.

OP, work for the marriage like a gun fight. Say in the fight, do whatever you have to do, and do not take the temptation to lay down and give up. And whatever you do, do not let a gun come between you and being the day to day father of your daughter.

Trust me, the next guy is gonna be far, far worse than you and you will have no ability to stop whatever damage he inflicts. NO gun is worth that.

Just another reason to add to my extensive list of reasons why to never have children.

 

[Redskinsfan]

best advice I read so far

How about take the pistol money and get some marriage counseling?

It's much more precious than the pistol.

-J-

I agree with the above. Really.

Terry

 

[Sthunter987]

Not a ladies are going to guns. You just have to come to terms with that. What would I do? I would have her watch the news each night and keep count of the bad things in the world for one week. At the end of that week take that count, and explain to her, it could have been her in any one of these. Next i would take her to an outdoor gun range, Set a melon of some kind out and from 25 feet away, shot it. At this point you can explain to her why she would never be one of this people she saw on the new. Reality really sucks for some, but it worst for those that deny it.

 

[FordMan08]

Theres a flaw in all of em. Work it out.

 

[Jack Ryan]

So I finally get enough money to buy a handgun...a Ruger P95 9mm, after having to sell my other guns (except for one shotgun) three years ago when we fell on hard times, and she is giving me total crap. Now I'm not saying we don't have some other problems in our marriage, but damn I think I'm with the wrong woman!

3 years ago you were hard up enough a few hundred dollars would make or break you and now you are buying guns again? Is your house paid for? Is your car paid for? If you lost your job would every one in your house have a roof over their head and eat with out the taxpayers help for the next 6 months?I've got a feeling she knows what she's talking about.

 

[kludge]

I tried (for years) to interest her in firearms and their role not only as protection but also as one of the loves in my life...

Ain't gonna happen.

I've been happily married for 13+ years and no matter what happens, my wife is never going to be a "gun girl" or a Jeep chick".

My wife is fully pro-2A and RKBA, and is glad that I have a gun and asks me when we head out if I have it on me, she's just not very interested in shooting or carrying herself... at times she says she wants to, and that she should have this or that, but it's not a priority.

I have been shooting since I was a young kid starting with BB guns and finallly getting my first handgun shortly after turning 21...well that was almost 19 years ago and not having shooting as an outlet has been really tough for the last 3 years. She worries about money and so do I, but we have a little extra for me to buy this "budget" Ruger and I think I might just not talk about it anymore with her and just get the gun...believe me we have talked and talked and it seems to turn into a fight every time.

Time to take a budgeting class together.

If the two of you don't budget together and don't budget any "this is my money and you can't tell me what I can and can't do with it" then there will always be money problems/fights.

 

[2cool9031]

Thankfully I don't have that problem, but if I did....and especially if I had guns before, I would tell her why I want to do it....Then I would buy the gun I wanted and if that was a problem with her, she would have to deal with it.
Marriage is a bond between two people, who might think differently...Not a Prison.

 

[Jerry]

Excuse me if this has been suggested... Try to make shooting something for the both of you. Invest in a "his and hers" set of 10/22's. Then explain to her that there's something you care about that you'd like to share with her, but she would have to have an opend mind about it. Take her on a little date to a range on a day/time where it isn't busy (or to some private land that is safe to shoot on). Take time going over some safety and how to operate the rifle etc... fire a few rounds through yours as an example, then have her try some through hers. Compliment what she does good and offer suggestions to improve etc...

Just make it a fun outing for the two of you. If all goes well she may see why you enjoy shooting so much and how it is a fun way to challenge yourself and improve your skill. Then when she's more open to the concept, get into the self defense aspect.

This technique worked for me. I was able to share a passion of mine with the woman I loved. She wasn't fond of guns when we met, despite being from a family that hunted etc... After a few times of us going shooting together on weekend trips home (from college) she's wamed up to the idea enough to have attended an appleseed with me and has even been hinting at finding her own 10/22 or pistol.

 

[ihateiraq]

i just want to float it out there that i was joking about the break in.

 

[techres]

i just want to float it out there that i was joking about the break in.

I thought so. We need a programmer to modify the forum and auto assign you smilies in all your posts. You could remove them of course, or maybe not...