I turn 40 this year, trying to not have a "crisis"

[Nodonutz]

As far as "crisis" style things, I'm just not interested. I'm content in my mini-van for now. Happy married. Great kids. Good job, good income. Good dog, good house. I don't feel anxiety for the things I may not get to experience, I feel it for my ability to be content with what I will be able to experience.

Your quote right there says it all, IMNSHO:
To me it's just a number. I hit 40 and life was great... great job (Bicycle Patrol Assignment at Hollister PD), best shape of my life, healthy, and engaged to a beautiful, younger blonde,. Then it seemed everything fell apart - 9/11, then a couple weeks later dumped via cell phone call - I came home from work and all the door locks changed w/o warning. I was 'homeless' and single. On my 41st birthday - literally @ 1:30am, I was injured at work (eventually career ending). I was told I coulda/shoulda been a quadriplegic, but my Guardian Angel was having none of that, Blessed. I unchained myself from my usual trepidation, fears, and timidity that ruled my life.
During my time off/ recovery I was standing in line at a coffee shop. Struck up a conversation with a sexy blonde ... them damn blondes, again. The best thing to ever happen to me. Been together ever since that day, 14 years, married for 12 and I cherish every day. Moved to Indiana to be closer to our new grand-daughter, and we Skype with my folks in CA every Sunday, go back and visit when we can. Precious time....
"Don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things", as my Missus likes to tell me if I start to stress over something. I'll hit 56 this July - gotcha beat by 1 1911ly - Missus is a 2X cancer survivor, I take my aches pains and setbacks with determination and moving ever-forward. WE appreciate what we have, each other, and don't take our blessings for granted.
Sounds like you are going to do just fine, ya young un'

 

[MrsGungho]

in a month I will be 51 and my second grandchild will be here. (yes a birthday present for Grandma)

Life is what you make it doc. It's a number, nothing else. I still get down on the floor and play with barbies, in a couple of years it will be matchbox cars. I still run around outside and chase fireflies, play hide and seek & pick the flowers. It's all in what you make it. I don't feel like I have slowed down. I am actually better. I have years behind me to help me see what is important. Family, enjoying the moment. That right there is what it is all about.

 

[dvd1955]

62 here. I've decided to make this a year of enjoying what I already have. Shooting the guns I have instead of pining for the next shiny one that I see someone talk about on INGO. No new motorcycles, tools, toys, tvs, etc. Finish up some of the projects I've started but never completed, instead of adding 50 more unfinished projects to the list. Just spend the year enjoying and appreciating what I've accomplished and acquired over the last 60+. Wish I would have done this at 30, 40, 50, 60.

 

[patience0830]

40 was nothing for me. I was doing everything I wanted to do at the time. Future was looking awesome. I could not imagine retiring. I was enjoying working. I had a wonderful wife, happy kids, house paid for. No loans. Health was ok, some blood pressure issues and some arthritis.

Then About 4 years later my real heart problems set in, then I had a serious work accident here at the house that change everything. Then and life seemed to hit a brick wall. I will be 55 in July. Then I lost my wife to cancer 6 years ago. So life is totally different now. I am still happy though, it took a while for sure, don't get me wrong. I do go threw bouts of sadness. But I was given a second chance. I am glad for it, i live for my kids and family.

You have the right ideal doc, live life and love like there is no tomorrow. I am happier since I have been doing that.

Happy Birthday doc, you will be fine!!!!

Wisdom and perseverance found here. ^
If you can remember that happy is found on the inside, that no one gives it to you, you're money ahead.

I'm 56 and starting to hear thank you's from kids I gave pep talks and advice to when my kids were in high school. When that kind of thing comes back around, it makes me think that all the hard work might have been worth while.

 

[patience0830]

Just hit 60. What's the issue again?

LOL.

 

[gregkl]

Turning 30 was tough for me. I actually liked turning 40. I have been in sales most of my life and when I turned 40 I felt like I wasn't the "young punk, wet behind the ears kid" anymore.

Turning 50, I did an Ironman triathlon to celebrate that milestone. I am now 57 and about 6 months ago took up CrossFit. The girls and well, pretty much everyone is higher up the whiteboard than I am, but I am there learning how to do clean and jerks, snatches, pull-ups, etc. All those things that some will say I'm too old to do.

My philosophy is:
1. Keep moving
2. Do whatever you want to do until you can't do it anymore. Don't stop just because another birthday passes by.
3. Try to stay in tune with what's current. Just because you are older doesn't mean you should wear black socks up to your knees with shorts.
4. Take care of your health. People ask me all the time why I do what I do since there are no guarantees. They are right except for one thing; I guarantee that by taking care of my health today, I feel better today.

 

[Leo]

doc, I have you beat by a couple decades. Midlife "crisis" is a mental state, not a physical condition. You can't fix it in the cast room. Like many said above, be glad for what you have. Don't do, (or even harder, say) anything you will regret later. Keep your word. Do not carry a grudge against anyone. Continue the commitment to your wife. Realize this life is pretty short so live with character and integrity. Plan appropriately for the after life, make sure you are in good shape with Jesus. Don't use a man made social "crisis" as an excuse to irresponsibly act in a way that compromises the above recommendations.

Now that you are established in your life and have available funding, you can have a hobby car, or boat, or plane, etc. That does not mean you are in crisis, unless you sacrifice all your life's accomplishments and responsibilities for those desires.

Best wishes to you and thanks for the work you do. It is important, enjoy satisfaction in it.

 

[Tactically Fat]

In addition to both of us being devilishly handsome and quite witty, Doc and I both have at least 1 more thing in common: Age. I'll turn 40 within a month of him doing it.

I, too, think that the traditional "midlife crisis" is kind of foolishness. I am grounded in my faith and in my church. I have a great wife who is one of the hardest working people that I've ever known. She's a fantastic mother to our two gigantic little kids. She tells me all the time that she just can't believe that I chose her. (That feeling is mutual, by the way).

I greatly desire to be a much healthier version of me come November but, honestly, finding the time in our schedules is quite difficult.

I'm only 6 PowerBall numbers away from having that time, though!

 

[indiucky]

Fifty is the new thirty......Enjoy Doc...It goes fast...I mean really fast after 40 Doc....It's kind of freaky how fast 40-50 goes....

 

[Kutnupe14]

My advice would be to eliminate all alcohol and drugs from normal everyday life.

Whatever, 40 is the age to get started, and move up from strippers to hookers!

 

[halfmileharry]

Whatever, 40 is the age to get started, and move up from strippers to hookers!

It's only 'cause you should be able to afford quality "help" at 40. I take this as good advice.

 

[indiucky]

Whatever, 40 is the age to get started, and move up from strippers to hookers!

Escorts at 50???

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

Now listen here, young man. Wahhhhhahahaa! I love being able to say that. I never had a midlife crisis, but I'm doing some stuff I want to do. Got the divorce, trading my .44 in for a couple of .22s as it were, still have a Mustang GT, and my hair's blue and green. I decided I wanted to focus on me, do some gardening, get some expert level reloading skill, spend some time at the range, make things and cause confusion. I officially scare children. Now, you kids get off my lawn!

 

[bwframe]

 

[lovemywoods]

hoosierdoc,
I can't add to the wisdom already offered upthread. However, I can wish for you to have fun being 40.
You're a good man. You deserve to be content.

 

[87iroc]

I turned 40 2 years ago last Sunday. I started trying to be healthier about the time I turned 41...and am continuing that this year as I want to be here at 60 without major health problems. I have wanted to go out and buy a new car...but at 40 I started caring more about debt and living paycheck to paycheck. I want to be able to happily retire. I think that's the biggest thing I changed at 40. We had a few friends over for a few minutes on my 40th...but other than that rang it in with no hubbub. 30 was the hardest one for me as someone said above(CM maybe)...it was the realization I wasn't young anymore.

My health went to hell at 40...lots of stuff started popping up. My wife turned 40 this year and it was no different. 2 weeks before her 40th, she was told she had no cartilage in her knees anymore. For both of us 40 was a rough year. Thankfully nothing had long term impacts for me(well, other than my veins in my legs but dealing with that)...but it underscored I needed to take care of myself more.

I have noticed I am more comfortable with myself...care less what others think. Feel like I'm finally growing up. Look at myself less as a kid performing adult duties and more like an adult. I think that comes with age and working with so many young kids whose bad day involves no wi-fi signal. For me...a bad day is being told you have cancer... Or sitting in a room watching a nurse dig around in my 6 mos old arm for a vein(could have punched her)....or watching a 9 yr old kid be brave as he carried his dad's casket after he succumbed to lung cancer. That man was 5 yrs younger than I was at the time. Reality check there.

Wisdom and being content comes with age and life...even if the millennials want you to believe you just have to subscribe to the channels on youtube or like the right things on Facebook to achieve contentness.

 

[Leo]

I turned 40 2 years ago last Sunday. I started trying to be healthier about the time I turned 41...and am continuing that this year as I want to be here at 60 without major health problems. I have wanted to go out and buy a new car...but at 40 I started caring more about debt and living paycheck to paycheck. I want to be able to happily retire. I think that's the biggest thing I changed at 40. We had a few friends over for a few minutes on my 40th...but other than that rang it in with no hubbub. 30 was the hardest one for me as someone said above(CM maybe)...it was the realization I wasn't young anymore.

My health went to hell at 40...lots of stuff started popping up. My wife turned 40 this year and it was no different. 2 weeks before her 40th, she was told she had no cartilage in her knees anymore. For both of us 40 was a rough year. Thankfully nothing had long term impacts for me(well, other than my veins in my legs but dealing with that)...but it underscored I needed to take care of myself more.

I have noticed I am more comfortable with myself...care less what others think. Feel like I'm finally growing up. Look at myself less as a kid performing adult duties and more like an adult. I think that comes with age and working with so many young kids whose bad day involves no wi-fi signal. For me...a bad day is being told you have cancer... Or sitting in a room watching a nurse dig around in my 6 mos old arm for a vein(could have punched her)....or watching a 9 yr old kid be brave as he carried his dad's casket after he succumbed to lung cancer. That man was 5 yrs younger than I was at the time. Reality check there.

Wisdom and being content comes with age and life...even if the millennials want you to believe you just have to subscribe to the channels on youtube or like the right things on Facebook to achieve contentness.

Sorry to hear about the problems. You pretty much illustrate that the best real asset is time. Health is a gift that allows us to make the best of the time. I never realized that until my health started to fail. I wish I understood that earlier.

 

[churchmouse]

Sorry to hear about the problems. You pretty much illustrate that the best real asset is time. Health is a gift that allows us to make the best of the time. I never realized that until my health started to fail. I wish I understood that earlier.

I really was immortal until I hit 50. Then everything started to creak and groan.

 

[Reagan40]

Don't have a mid life crisis when you are 40. Simple math, you die at 80 then. Wait until 50, that way you can live until you are 100.

 

[PistolBob]

Turned 40...what a day...what a milestone...it was years ago...that year mom died, found out I have a genetic health issue, got diagnosed with diabetes, my dog died that summer, turning 40 sucked...but hey, it beats the alternative.