Adrian Peterson spanks his kid, goes to jail

[jamil]

By that logic if your parents fed you cocaine for breakfast it would be alright for you to do the same to your kid.

One of the things parents should strive for is to improve themselves and their parenting skills, not just roll over and mindlessly repeat past behaviors that are known to be harmful.

I think you're saying I'm saying more than I'm saying. The logical statement isn't, "my parents did it to me, therefore there's nothing wrong with it."

It's more like, "Using a switch was very common place in our society back in the days of my youth; it did not harm kids and generally produced responsible kids when done with appropriate diligence and care, therefore there's nothing wrong with using a switch as punishment." The fact that society has become meddling pussies is the focus of the lament, not that parents should be able to do to their kids whatever their whim.

My OP was made before the later information came out. The initial reports I heard and the photos that were posted made it seem to me a whole lot like it's AP's business and none of anyone else's. But as more information came out, including AP's own words, it became obvious that what he did crossed the line completely. I think the charges against him are absolutely appropriate.

 

[Que]

I think you're saying I'm saying more than I'm saying. The logical statement isn't, "my parents did it to me, therefore there's nothing wrong with it."

It's more like, "Using a switch was very common place in our society back in the days of my youth; it did not harm kids and generally produced responsible kids when done with appropriate diligence and care, therefore there's nothing wrong with using a switch as punishment." The fact that society has become meddling pussies is the focus of the lament, not that parents should be able to do to their kids whatever their whim.

My OP was made before the later information came out. The initial reports I heard and the photos that were posted made it seem to me a whole lot like it's AP's business and none of anyone else's. But as more information came out, including AP's own words, it became obvious that what he did crossed the line completely. I think the charges against him are absolutely appropriate.

I have not read what Peterson said. Did he admit to abusing his son?

 

[jamil]

I have not read what Peterson said. Did he admit to abusing his son?

He was up front and matter-of-fact about what he did, but he didn't say it was abuse. He said that he noticed that there were some welts on the kid's scrotum and legs and said he didn't realize the switch was "wrapping around" whatever that means. But he felt bad about that. Still I got the overall impression that he really believes he did nothing wrong.

 

[mrjarrell]

Just a plain old spanking. Nothing to see here.

 

[BehindBlueI's]

Really?
I never really listened till the belt came out.

When you were 4?

 

[actaeon277]

When you were 4?

Well, I broke rules at 4.
And explaining it to me never worked, I was hard headed.
Took me years to figure out my dad wasn't asking questions to find something out.
He was testing me, to see if I lied.

 

[actaeon277]

4 years old, and we were tossing bricks at each other.

 

[ModernGunner]

Reading some of the responses and comments, it's obvious that parents didn't beat their kids ENOUGH, years ago!

 

[actaeon277]

Reading some of the responses and comments, it's obvious that parents didn't beat their kids ENOUGH, years ago!

Some kids were raised just fine without it.
But some needed it. I fit in this category.

 

[Que]

I recently went to my son's school for a conference. I told the teacher that I did not want my son disrupting the learning process in her class and to call me if that happens. She said that he seemed to have a healthy fear of me and I affirmed her observation. She went on to say that she noticed a scar on my son's leg and said if he had told her that I did it, she would have had to call Child Services. I told her to do what she needed to do and I would do what I had to do. She looked mad enough to chew rocks after that. I guess she expected me to be grateful she didn't have to report me to the government. Not happening!

 

[jamil]

I recently went to my son's school for a conference. I told the teacher that I did not want my son disrupting the learning process in her class and to call me if that happens. She said that he seemed to have a healthy fear of me and I affirmed her observation. She went on to say that she noticed a scar on my son's leg and said if he had told her that I did it, she would have had to call Child Services. I told her to do what she needed to do and I would do what I had to do. She looked mad enough to chew rocks after that. I guess she expected me to be grateful she didn't have to report me to the government. Not happening!

How you discipline (note to Sybaris, I did not say abuse) your child is a whole lot of no one else's business, unless she wants pointers.

 

[Expat]

I think it is a good thing that we are forcing parents to get away from this type of punishment. Certainly our society has shown real improvement with each passing generation as we have done so. If we can stamp out the last of this, we may actually reach a utopia level.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

 

[halfmileharry]

I recently went to my son's school for a conference. I told the teacher that I did not want my son disrupting the learning process in her class and to call me if that happens. She said that he seemed to have a healthy fear of me and I affirmed her observation. She went on to say that she noticed a scar on my son's leg and said if he had told her that I did it, she would have had to call Child Services. I told her to do what she needed to do and I would do what I had to do. She looked mad enough to chew rocks after that. I guess she expected me to be grateful she didn't have to report me to the government. Not happening!

I got called to school 2 years ago over my son getting out of line. (way over the line for my liking). I took him directly across the hall to the restroom and readjusted his attitude.
Let the chips fall where they may. My son won't be a "hoodlum, thug, or one of the dreaded "Bad Guys". NO more problems

 

[Que]

I think it is a good thing that we are forcing parents to get away from this type of punishment. Certainly our society has shown real improvement with each passing generation as we have done so. If we can stamp out the last of this, we may actually reach a utopia level.

I totally agree! We should also stop all competitive activities that make some children feel less accomplished; if anyone gets a trophy, then all those participating should be awarded. We should also make everyone's pay the same. After all, why should someone get more than others? Aren't we all in this together?

 

[Expat]

I totally agree! We should also stop all competitive activities that make some children feel less accomplished; if anyone gets a trophy, then all those participating should be awarded. We should also make everyone's pay the same. After all, why should someone get more than others? Aren't we all in this together?

All of that has been working well for us, so full speed ahead I say.

 

[HoughMade]

Like so many things, bright lines are tough to draw in this arena.

I believe firmly in corporal punishment and so far, Indiana does too, so all is good. I have spanked my kids several times....and never left a mark other than "lesson learned"....for a while.

My kids all love me. They are not resentful. They are not violent.

The thing about corporal punishment, at least as we used it, is that it tapered off as the kids aged. I chalk this up to physical pain being a good motivator with more immature kids who have a harder time linking up actions to longer term consequences and other manners of punishment being more effective as the kids are able to understand, better, what is going on. Privileges restrictions, extra work, etc.- I believe work better on teenagers, mine at least, than corporal punishment, but I'm not ruling anything out .

I will leave other parents to work out how to raise their own kids, even knowing that there are a lot of knuckleheads out there that can't figure much out, but have procreation down.

However, there are limits. There have to be. Unfortunately, I don't know of much of a standard other than "reasonable". In this case (Adrian Peterson), from the latest I heard, it sounds like things may have gone too far, but I wasn't there and I don't the truth of what it reported. What is certainly regrettable is that this whole mess is being played out in public through the media. If the reports are accurate, maybe the courts do need to be involved, but like I said, I can't judge that accurately right now.

I will say this- Adrian Peterson, this amazingly talented man has had significant tragedy come into his life which is directly linked to the fact that he is not living with his children, or married to their mothers.

...and to those of you who said "his kids should be taken away from him"....he has largely taken care of that by his own free will.

 

[BehindBlueI's]

Like so many things, bright lines are tough to draw in this arena.

I believe firmly in corporal punishment and so far, Indiana does too, so all is good. I have spanked my kids several times....and never left a mark other than "lesson learned"....for a while.

My kids all love me. They are not resentful. They are not violent.

The thing about corporal punishment, at least as we used it, is that it tapered off as the kids aged.

Same here. Nothing but an open hand and never more than a few whacks on the backside. Small children have small pain tolerances, it doesn't take an implement to get their attention. It's easier just to him them, especially if you have anger issues (like AP certainly seems to), but its rarely necessary.

I got spanked as a kid, but you know the punishment that still sticks with me to this day? Being excluded from the nightly pillow fight. Of course that requires you to be engaged with your children, for them to have activities they enjoy that you can withhold, etc. Being the Sometimes-daddy, regardless of if its due to lack of custody or just not being involved with the kids, eliminates that option.

 

[Que]

Same here. Nothing but an open hand and never more than a few whacks on the backside. Small children have small pain tolerances, it doesn't take an implement to get their attention. It's easier just to him them, especially if you have anger issues (like AP certainly seems to), but its rarely necessary.

I got spanked as a kid, but you know the punishment that still sticks with me to this day? Being excluded from the nightly pillow fight. Of course that requires you to be engaged with your children, for them to have activities they enjoy that you can withhold, etc. Being the Sometimes-daddy, regardless of if its due to lack of custody or just not being involved with the kids, eliminates that option.

I was taught (and this was my parent's practice) never correct a child with your hand because they become afraid of your hand. Also, always end punishment with a hug to let them know you are not "mad" at them. These are just lessons I embraced. I don't think my son would mind not being in the pillow fight.

 

[BehindBlueI's]

It wasn't about the pillow fight, it was about being left out of the family for the activity. Something that's tough to accomplish today with a lack of consistent family activities, or even consistent families.